Survivor: Philippines - Destined For Annihilation - 25.4

It is a bleak, bleak Blue camp the day after Angie is voted out.  Without the inflated, perpetually perky boobs around, spirits are sinking.  Survivor goes artsy with a 2 minute wordless opening, as Malcolm, Denise & Russell shiver & reflect on their bad fortune.

Mmmm, cold rice.

Malcolm says, "I think we all put on brave faces for each other - everyone's scared & everyone's a little bit nervous. But one win is all it's gonna take to turn the mood around at camp.  Just one win to know that it's possible that we're not just destined for annihilation."

Russell's plan is to mount the greatest comeback anyone's ever seen.  He again brags that he was willing to die for this game, but dude, come on: if the title of "Most Willing To Die For Survivor" is up for grabs, I'm putting everything on Skupin.

Over at Yellow, Pete plans on creating chaos that's beneficial to him.  Good luck with that, Pete, is what I first thought, but I will admit when I'm wrong & damnit if Pete didn't surprise me.  Who's got 2 thumbs & some actual game?

This guy.

Abi-Maria notices something sticking out of RC's bag, & it's the Clue to the Idol, planted there by Pete to create some chaos.  What now?  I know my girl RC is too smart to let something like that happen, but Abi-Maria doesn't see things quite so rationally.  Things are going according to plan for Pete, who may have received his evil mastermind training from cartoons.

Actually stroking his chin as he suppresses a chuckle.

We know that Abi-Maria was suspicious of RC when she had no reason to be.  Now with evidence planted by Pete, there is really no talking to her.  I mean, yes, Abi-Maria is the one who technically back-stabbed RC & told Pete about the clue & then found the actual Idol with him...but how dare RC let that clue (which means nothing now) slip out of her backpack?  Like, O.M.G.

"I don't want anybody to be able to play their game.  I want them to play my game."

At Red, Jeff is annoyed with the "really young group of kids that aren't married, that don't know how to carry a professional conversation."  Wait - do you mean that they might resort to schoolyard tricks to convince themselves they're not deceitful bastards?  Ugh, I hate when people are so un-professional when playing a game on an island in front of cameras.  You know, the ultimate professional setting.  And what does being married have to do with it?  So confused by this man & his strange, strange ways.

Jeff has tried to fight it, but it looks like he's beginning to fall prey to Penner's charm.  Winning Jeff's heart clam by clam, Penner even gets himself a real five-fingered handshake.

Fangirl rave time: Seriously, how genius is Penner?  He knew Douchey McTool didn't trust him, so he made him feel trusted by sharing information.  This really didn't hurt Penner at all, because everyone assumed he had the idol already.  Instead of holding on to it & waiting for it to be flushed out, Penner told Jeff.  Jeff gets to feel big & important (& one assumes, professional), & Penner has just switched it around so it's in Jeff's best interest to protect him instead of target him.  Well played, Penner. 

Penner then plays the fatherly card, going slightly Don Draper on Carter.  "Have you ever done anything to make me feel like you're a young man who's not going to be true to his word?  Who's not gonna want to play a straight up game?"  & Carter is "No sir, I do want to play a straight up game, & golly would I be happy to learn from you, sir."  He fixes Penner an Old Fashioned, & The Clam Alliance is born.

I wanted a screen shot of Carter to prove he had a confessional this week, & I actually tried for quite a long time to get one without his mouth hanging open, but you can see that I was not successful.  Sorry, Carter.

The Red ladies are like the Pink Ladies except they are all Stephanie Zinone & don't need any men.  "The Pink Ladies' pledge is to act cool, to look cool, & to be cool.  Till death do us part, think pink."

Yes, I am quoting Grease 2, & no, I am not ashamed.

The Red Ladies know the men are bonding over clams, & Dana likes that idea quite a lot.  She wants to stick with the ladies, & then gather some more ladies after the Merge.  Aw yeah.  Dana tells it like it is: "I'm a girl - I can make fire, I can kill chickens."  Yes.  Girl power!  "Don't underestimate me because I'm a female.  That's the worst thing you can do to a woman."  ARE YOU LISTENING, PROBST?

At Blue, Malcolm isn't threatened by Russell: "I think I sized Russ up pretty good, right off the bat, & he's met my low expectations the entire way through."  The mystery of Russell & whether or not he's forgotten about the idol is solved as we now see him looking for it, & constantly walking by it.  He comments, "The real frustrating part is, I have a feeling that I've been, like, past this thing, like, a hundred million times."

Idol Hunting 101: Pay attention to where the camera is pointing.

"It's like right there, & everybody's gonna see, it's gonna be like a flash on the screen, & they're gonna be like "this dummy keeps walking past it".  It just sucks."

Oh, a flash like this?

What sucks even more for Russell is that Denise catches him searching.  He totally convinces her otherwise, with non-stop talking about a banana leaf & a palm frond that doesn't sound shady at all.  Denise shares her suspicion with Malcolm, & they go through Russell's things to see if he has the idol.  They find nothing, but they assume he has it & a blindside is needed.

At Yellow, Abi-Maria wants nothing to do with RC's crazy need to have a conversation & talk things out.  Pete continues to be the least enthusiastic would-be mastermind this game has ever seen.  "She has one big problem: I'm here." is delivered with the same level of emotion Queen Amidala showed when addressing the Trade Federation.  I'm a bit worried about his iron levels - dude needs a steak.

For the Immunity/Reward Challenge, each Survivor has to carry 2 pots of rice on a pole through obstacles, place the pots on stands & head back.  When all the pots are in place, a wrecking ball will be used to smash the pots.  First tribe to finish wins Immunity + steak & all the fixins'.  Second tribe wins Immunity + a few of the fixins', & Probst has nothing for the third tribe.

Probst called it a pole, but I know it's a yoke.  Thanks, Grade 3 Pioneer Village trip.

Red & Yellow have to sit out 3 members now, & both decide to sit out their 3 ladies.

Look how disappointed Dawson is!    :(

Blue thinks sitting out all the ladies is hilarious, & whether it's because their lady is such a powerhouse, or because they can't even imagine what it would be like to sit someone out of a challenge, I can't say.

Carter breaks a pot, which is weird cuz he seems like a guy who would take really good care of his pot(s).  Then he takes a face plant.

Again, I love love love Malcolm & Denise.  Probst yells that Denise is falling behind.  Malcolm immediately yells "You're all right!  We're doing fine!"

Hell, yeah, you're doing fine.  Look at those pipes!

Russell yells for Denise to "dig deep" & Malcolm looks like he's going to strangle him.

Malcolm is working the wrecking ball for Blue, Artis for Yellow, & Jeff for Red.  Artis has a great swing that takes out 2 pots, & Yellow quickly wins Immunity & the steaks.  For Pete's sake.

When it's down to 1 pot left for both Blue & Red, it is intense.  Like, screaming-at-our-TV-along-with-Probst intense.  Malcolm misses, Jeff misses.  Malcolm misses, Jeff hits a pot but it doesn't break...until the wrecking ball hits it again on its way back.

Blue loses for the fourth time in a row & Russell decides now would be a good time to lose his mind.  Russell Smash.  "Same old crap!" he yells, after smashing a pot to the ground.  Then he prays loudly & Malcolm & Denise pretend to have never seen this guy before in their lives.

 
Probst isn't one to miss an opportunity for a breakdown, so he asks what the deal is.  "I don't know who you're talking to, if you're talking to God, or..."  "I'm talking to God, Lord.  I mean Jeff."

Finally some recognition.  Suck it, Emmy's.

Back to the WTF of it all, Probst continues, "With all due respect, you sometimes come off like you're a super hero...you're just a guy."
"I'm a guy who was formed by God's hands...I'm a perfect creature."
Everyone stares blankly at Russell for a few minutes, & then Probst gives Yellow their food & Immunity & they back out slowly lest Mike slices his chest open on shards of smashed pot.

Red makes the choice to trade their little food reward for a tarp & Jeff is like "For realz?"  And Penner is like, "Yes, dummy.  We can live without spicy bad breath."

Thanks, but no thanks.  We have clams the size of Carter's head.

Malcolm was so upset after losing the challenge that he almost cried.  He didn't, though, because Malcolm never cries - not even when the dog he had for his whole life died.  Look, I think Malcolm's a monster for saying that, too...but in his defense, if the dog kept escaping the fence in the backyard, he probably had to eventually shoot it.  It's just a thing that everyone knows you have to do.

Blue is a flurry of everyone telling everybody something different, but I believe in the Smart Alliance that Denise & Malcolm have going.  I doubt that either one of them would find Russell more valuable than the other.

Denise tells Russell to pull up a chair, & Russell opens up, telling Denise he doesn't know how to deal with problems.  She asks if that's how he's always dealt with things, & Full House Music begins to play, so Russell tells a childhood story.

Now, my guide said that on this episode of Survivor, "an aspiring sole survivor shares a shocking story from their childhood", so what I had in my head was a lot worse than his actual story of being bullied & beaten up, & then realizing when he stood up to them that he didn't have to be afraid.  Not that it wasn't a touching story, but I thought he was going to reveal that he accidentally killed that kid or something.  Basically, my guide had higher expectations of Russell than Malcolm did.

Once again, Denise makes me smile with her logical, completely reasonable approach to Survivor: "Yes, I'm a Midwesterner, yes I have faith in human beings - I have to.  That's what I hang on to, & if I get bamboozled tonight, you know, it's not gonna shake my faith that these are two good guys...it'll tell me that, you know, I screwed up & they played the game better than me."

At Tribal, Malcolm takes full responsibility for taking on the wrecking ball position, but it's not like Russell would have been a better choice, because this is where he was during that stage of the Challenge:

Digging deep

With just 3 Survivors going to Tribal Council, we get a bit of a Final Tribal Council vibe, with each tribe member stating why they should stay.  Malcolm says he's got 20 years on Russell, & although Denise is "a little ox of a woman", he has a foot on her, vertically.  Russell calls Malcolm a young stud & a threat.  "When I grow up, I wanna be like Malcolm."  Russell also says he can provide knowledge going forward, based on what he knows "experientially".  The first time he played, he never made it to the merge, so really, what more could he offer?  He couldn't even find the Immunity Idol when he needed it most.

There is a ton of Denise love coming from the guys, & it's confirmed: Denise is the best.  Russell says she has to go because he imagines a jury where we hear "Can I write you my own cheque along with the cheque you get from Survivor?  To hell with the taxes."

We see Russell & Malcolm vote for each other, leaving Denise's vote the only mystery.  Russell is voted out with an audible sigh & his pecs deflate right there.  Denise must be a great therapist, though, because he doesn't set the little hut on fire with his torch, or cry to the heavens.  He calmly walks to Probst & leaves quietly.  The Smart Alliance survives, & maybe now they can mount that epic comeback without Russell getting in their way.

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Canadian Playlist

As it's Thanksgiving Monday, I thought I'd do something other than a Confectionery post this week.  Instead, I'm sharing a CanCon playlist...that's Canadian Content, to non-Canucks.  So I'm sharing some of my favourite Canadian artists - some I'm sure you've heard of, but there are also genuine hidden treasures here.

SLOAN

One day after school, the Coax Me video came on MuchMusic & I was hooked.  4 guys from Halifax, looking & sounding like they had traveled to 1994 from an earlier time.  I don't think I can choose just one song from any of these artists, so I'm going with 2.  For Sloan, I give you the Coax Me video, & their most recent, Unkind.  Sloan is currently on a Twice Removed tour, playing that iconic album front-to-back, & I CANNOT WAIT.

CITY & COLOUR

City & Colour is the stage name that Dallas Green started using when he performed his solo material, which was much more mellow than his work with Alexisonfire (also great, although screaming is not my thing):

City & Colour is the perfect music for relaxing - it's soothing & intense at the same time.  Here are Save Your Scissors, from Sometimes, & a live version of Fragile Bird, which is incredible.

SARAH HARMER

I want to listen to Sarah Harmer when I'm driving, when I'm cooking, when I'm working...she's pretty great.  Here are Pendulums & Silver Road from All of Our Names.

THE TRAGICALLY HIP

While I've never been a Hip superfan, you really can't get more Canadian than a band with a lead singer named Gord.  They are great at what they do, & I know I'm in the minority, so I'm sharing my favourite Hip song, Bobcaygeon, & their most popular, New Orleans is Sinking.  I will say that the one time I saw The Hip live, it was really impressive, hence the live version.

SARAH SLEAN

I discovered Sarah Slean with the kind of happy accident that Napster sometimes provided - My Invitation was incorrectly labelled as a Sarah Harmer song.  I fell in love with Sarah's voice & waited impatiently for Night Bugs to be released & have bought every album & seen every local show since.  The first song is Pilgrim, because who doesn't love a haunting song with the first line "A little blood & vomit on the car seat, & a tooth is sitting in my lap"?  The second is a gorgeous piece featuring an orchestra, The Cosmic Ballet.

ROYAL WOOD

I first saw Royal Wood live, when he opened for Sarah Slean at the Danforth Music Hall.  He sat down at a piano & did a jazzy version of the Oompa Loompa song & it was amazing.

The first real Royal song is Juliet - one of the most beautiful videos I've ever seen, to match an equally beautiful song, from A Good Enough Day.  I wish there was an official video or a good quality live version of the second song, because it is my favourite from The Waiting, Birds on a Sunday.  Just gorgeous.

BARENAKED LADIES

Originally dismissed as a novelty band with their If I Had ($1,000,000) hit, BNL has always been an extremely underrated band.  Ed began writing my favourite BNL song Am I The Only One? (from Maybe You Should Drive) for his future wife, but after his brother passed away in a motorcycle accident, the song was changed for him.  Heart-wrenching, & I love this intimate version. The second song is their cover of Bruce Cockburn's Lovers in a Dangerous Time, with the video taking us through Scarborough in the early 90s.

MOXY FRUVOUS

Another band considered gimmicky, Moxy Fruvous was a favourite amongst my friends.  Harmonies, songs about war & Canadian politics & authors.  Love them.   Here are Stuck in the 90s & King of Spain, both from Bargainville.

COLIN JAMES

Both his rock/pop work & his Big Band work are worth checking out., but Colin James made a name for himself with the blues.  Here are 2 of my favourites, Just Came Back & Limelight. 

GREAT BIG SEA

Being of Newfoundland heritage, I can't possibly compile a CanCon playlist without Great Big Sea.  You would think that a band playing a mix of original & traditional Newfoundland folk songs shouldn't be so popular, but you've probably never seen them live.  It is true pub music, so pour yourself a beer & sing along to Mari-Mac, & Lukey from Up...& just because, a bonus video of their kick-ass, super-speed version of R.E.M.'s It's The End of The World As We Know It (& I Feel Fine).

BLUE RODEO

So Canadian.  So good.  I think I would believe anything Jim Cuddy told me, he's so genuine.  Here are 2 of my favourites, 5 Days in May & Bad Timing, both from the brilliant Five Days in July.

RUSH

Subdivisions & Limelight.  That is all.

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Survivor: Philippines - The Four-Finger Handshake & The Munchkin of Muscle - 25.3

Blue returns to camp after voting Roxy out, & Angie is upset.  Roxy fighting for her life at Tribal was like, SO unnecessary.  Russell thinks Roxy was right about Malcolm & Angie being a dangerous pair, & he says if Denise decides to go with the young ones, he's dead.  Well, yeah...we were all kind of wondering why you voted for Roxy.  This still doesn't clear that up.

Over at Yellow, RC & Abi-Maria are having a conversation.  Well, RC (the girl the Survivor cameramen film as if the Baker Street saxophone solo is always playing) is trying to have a conversation.

Abi-Maria, on the other hand, just likes to listen to her gut, & nobody else.  RC pleads with Abi-Maria to be reasonable & stop picking a fight - her tone is that of someone trying to prevent the other party from embarrassment & ridicule.  Abi-Maria's response to that is Like, whatever, if you want to continue, continue...but it's pointless, & I'm just going to listen to my gut because it's more straight-forward than you & stop wasting my time.  A bewildered RC gives up, & she must have been thinking WTF is up with this girl?  I'm trying to support her & strategize with her, & you know, be in our mutually agreed-upon alliance.  Unfortunately, Abi-Maria is busy telling Pete everything.  Pete.

Abi-Maria tells Pete about the Immunity Idol clue, which she claims to have had a part in finding.  She says she wants to find the idol before RC does, because who can trust a girl with her own sexy theme song?  Pete just nods.  Later, he reveals his silent strategy: "I'm looking like I'm not paying attention, but I'm paying attention to everything that's going on around me.  I'm like, on surveillance."

Pete: Awesome at looking like he's not paying attention.

Pete decides that with this new information, he's going to make a new separate alliance with Lisa.  "I can make stuff happen where you don't go home."  Pete now wants to blindside Mike.  DOES THE SEXY ALLIANCE MEAN NOTHING TO THESE PEOPLE?

At Red, Dana sits down on the rice container & realizes it's comfier than it used to be.  Everyone notices that the raised pattern thing is missing & Penner plays along.  Of course Penner plays along - may I remind you that Penner portrayed the successful-at-potty-training Detective Fellows on an episode of Arrested Development?

Jeff takes Dawson & Carter aside & is frustrated with himself, as he realizes the missing piece was most likely the idol, & it was sitting right in front of him & he had no clue.  Sucker.

At Blue, their raft has left of its own accord, & Denise & Malcolm maintain their under-wraps alliance.  They are pleased-as-punch that the attention is on whether or not Malgie is a threat, while nobody is looking at the 2 of them as a pair.  They know the next vote will be either Russell or Angie, & they're just sitting in the middle.  "Malcolm in the Middle" says Denise, & they do their adorable shoulder dance & finger wiggle & the Smart Alliance is still so very very cute together & I love them & that's as good a reason as any for this song:

For the Immunity/Reward Challenge, Survivors will dive down one at a time to release 8 puzzle wheels attached to a line.  When all pieces are back, they can start solving the puzzle, & the first tribe to finish wins Immunity & a massive fishing kit.  The second tribe to finish wins Immunity & a small fishing kit.  Probst has nothing for the losing tribe.

Abi-Maria announces she'll sit out for Yellow because "I twisted my knee twice, so..."  Why would you announce that?  Lisa also sits out for Yellow, & Katie & Dawson sit out for Red.  Somehow, they all manage to do so without announcing some kind of weakness they bring to their tribe.  Take note, Abi-Maria!

There is a mask for every tribe if they would like to use them, & they seem to be working fine for everybody, so of course they shatter in Mike's face.

Yellow & Red are doing an amazing job.  Not only are they all fast & strong, they seem to be working together.  Over at Blue, Angie struggles with the first puzzle piece, which is only 2 feet deep.  (In her defense, it must be hard to get below the surface at all with those suckers.)  Russell has trouble climbing the short ladder to get back on the platform, & on his second turn, comes back without the puzzle piece at all, & still can't get up the ladder. 

Denise & Malcolm are killing it.  Probst calls Denise "a machine", & Malcolm's hair is down again, so that's awesome.  Blue is way behind, but the Smart Alliance carries them to the puzzle-phase, where it looks like they come just short of second place.  Red wins first, Yellow second, & Blue is going to Tribal for the third time in a row.

Red is happy to see their canoe & fishing kit, because as Dana says, they're a "hungry tribe".  Penner knows Jeff doesn't trust him, so he reveals to Jeff that he does, in fact, have the idol.  They seem to be standing near the loudest surf ever, because they need subtitles as we can barely hear them.  Jeff says "Well, thanks for telling me, Jonathan.  Hopefully we can work together from here on out."  Just kidding - what he actually says is way douchier: "Obviously you want to get ahead in the game & I do, too...If it means I gotta ride in your boat 'cause you got some power & you got some knowledge on how to go forward, then I ride in your boat for a while."  Bitch, please.  Get out of the damn boat.

Jeff continues, "You gotta prove your loyalty verses your words..." & he does the quotation gesture around "words" like he doesn't "believe" Penner "at all".  THEN he shakes Penner's hand & my husband comments that Jeff's finger looks broken.  Nope!  Turns out Jeff has decided to share with us the International Symbol of Douchebags: The Four-Finger Handshake.

Enables you to feel like a "gentleman" whilst plotting to be a "deceitful bastard".

"Are you willing to take a polygraph to that effect?"

Seriously, WTF is that?  Is he in the third grade?  Were his toes crossed, too?  Probst better not "reverse duh, double dare" him at a Tribal Council, because that shit means something to Jeff Kent.  When Jeff explains the Four-Finger Handshake to the camera, he's all smiles & thinking he's clever, & ladies & gentlemen, we have a new Douchey McTool.

Matt Quinlan, you are hereby relieved of your duties.  Still naming photos of yourself  "Missionandglare"?  I'll allow it.

Even though Yellow won Immunity, Artis is annoyed with Mike.  The same Mike who competed in the challenge just as hard as everybody who wasn't bleeding from their face.  Abi-Maria takes Pete to look for the Idol, & she actually finds it & then screams very loudly about finding it.  Pete shows no enthusiasm at all, clearly a display of how good he is at looking like he's not paying attention.  Pete, you genius!

A thrice defeated Blue returns to camp, & they are sad, despite The Hair making a glorious appearance while Malcolm practices the Four-Finger Handshake Jeff bragged about underwater at the Challenge.

Honestly, I don't understand why Malcolm lets The Hair down during challenges, but nobody tell him, ok?  He was like a beautiful Merman for a few moments.

Just like that, The Hair is tied back again, & Malcolm is frustrated with "the Goon Squad" he & Denise are stuck with.  "Denise was a war horse today, I mean, a little munchkin of muscle."  The Smart Alliance meets privately to discuss the Challenge.  Denise, a sex therapist, asks "How many times did you go down?" & I'm not mature enough to ignore that.  I'm sorry.  The 2 quickly dissolve into a chorus of "WTF happened with Russell & also WTF happened with Angie?" Angie pops over just to clear something up: "For the record, I never said 'I can't'".

Angie, you can't say WE never tried.

Russell knows he performed poorly in the Challenge, & now he is praying, & standing on the shoulders of giants & then a hundred million birds fly away.  Instead of turning to prayer & ancestors, what about the Immunity Idol?  Let's all remember that Russell has the clue...is he really not looking for it at all?  Did he forget about it?

At Tribal, Denise says she left her family & practice behind, so she's not ready to roll over & give up.  Malcolm has watched Survivor since he was 12, & is finally here more than a decade later.  He says he's frustrated that "it's going this poorly.  I'm not an emotional guy in the slightest, but I was between tears & screaming after the Challenge today.  It's...heartbreaking is the word."  Probst says, "Heartbreaking, for realz?"  Yeah, bro.  "Frustration was on Day 3.  On Day 8, it's heartbreaking."

Russell is confronted with being a quitter & he says he didn't quit - he made a strategic decision.  Angie says she's more of a fighter & Russell guffaws.  I haven't heard many guffaws in my day, but that was a guffaw.  "I was willing to die for this game the last time I played.  You willing to put your life on the line, little girl?  Come on."  Angie giggles & says "Yes" like someone asked her if she'd like a cookie.  Russell presses on & Angie's smile falters.  "You went into that water 2 feet.  You were slow because you did not have the physical strength to get that ring off of there."  Russell brings her to tears after he uses the phrase "revisionist history" & Angie doesn't understand.  She cries, & Angie, I hate that sadness in your eyes.

Malcolm steps in & identifies something that honestly never occurred to me: "Because of the situation, she's getting thrust into a role that was probably never meant for her - a strength role.  There are little girls on the other tribes who haven't had to do the things that she's had to do in 2 challenges already."  It doesn't change the fact that she's still the weakest member of the tribe, but it's true, & Malcolm may yet score with her, despite Probst being an awful wingman.

Russell votes for Angie, apologizing for making her cry.  Angie votes for Russell: "One thing about me is I never give up".  She says this while holding up the name she didn't even finish writing.

It's not centred, so don't tell me she meant to leave it at "Russ".

Angie is voted out by the 3 remaining Blue members, & gives a pageant girl exit speech.  "This helped me realize how blessed I am to have the life that I have."

Angie, you're beautiful, but ain't it time we said goodbye?

I couldn't get my recap up yesterday because I was with my son on a class trip, but I posted something on my blog's Facebook page to tide readers over, so please "like" Winter Pays For Summer over there for more extra content!


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The Confectionery - 19

These are the things that I think are great.

BODY PAINT ARTIST CAROLYN ROPER

To promote the UK premeire of Covert Affairs, make-up artist Carolyn Roper camouflaged models around London, using body paint.  Incredible.

Go here to see more of Carolyn's work.

HONEST TRAILERS

Will Twilight ever not be made fun of?  Hopefully not.  A few weeks ago, I shared the hilarious Bad Lip-Reading of Twilight, where we learned never to eat Edward's cake.  I've just discovered Honest Trailers, so here is the Honest Trailer of Twilight, starring Vanilla & Shovel Face.

I love The Avengers Honest Trailer, as well.  "Witness the excitement of Iron Man repairing a spaceship for 20 minutes."

STINGRAY PHOTOBOMB

Yes, you can see the handler behind this adorable Stingray.  Does that make this photo any less awesome?  No.  Here's an excerpt from a letter one of the girls wrote to the Huffington Post after this photo went viral:
This photo was taken five years ago in Cayman Island at Stingray Island. We were on a cruise for spring break. The photographer originally asked us to take a photo with the stingray in front of us, which we did, but then afterward as a joke he put it on our backs without us knowing! Our reactions are genuine, and the photographer snapped the photo at the perfect time! We had no idea that the photo was so brilliant until later when he showed us the proof. We immediately bought it. From left to right are Sarah Bourland, Natalie Zaysoff, Kendall Harlan.

And just because, here's one more animal photobomb, this time a sloth.  *squeal*

21 YEARS

Cory McLeod's parents took a photo of his face every day, for 21 years.  Watch a person grow in this fascinating time-lapse video.

WALL TENTACLES

My Sister-in-Law brought this to my attention last week, which I think was kind of cruel because why didn't she just order it for me?  You can't just say "Hey Lisa, this would look cool next to your dragon head!", & leave it at that.   It's only $3500!  Take in its beauty:

Check out more of this artist's work at ArtAkimbo's Etsy shop (where there are also smaller versions for around $250 - I'm not suggesting everybody should pitch in, but that's kind of a great idea & I would like it in purple.).

HISTORY OF TV THEME SONGS

Jimmy Fallon recently had the cast of his new show (Guys with Kids) on, & they presented this ambitious medley of TV theme songs.  Sadly missing is the Growing Pains theme song, but it is well done, & you can't help but smile. 

So, show me that smile again (oooh, show me that smile).



Those were my favourite sweets of the past week.  Come back next week for more goodies!

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Survivor: Philippines - Booty-Blinded By the Booby Trap - 25.2

Zane was voted out at the last Tribal Council, something I believe I captured beautifully in this DrawSomething picture for my Dad:

Yeah, I still play DrawSomething.  What of it?

Blue (Matsing) returns to camp, & Russell apologizes to everybody & plans to step back & let someone else take over.  They settle in for a cold night.  Cold if you don't have a body to snuggle with, that is...

Malgie

Angie says "There's nothing going on between us, it's just, you know, when it's cold, you need to cuddle up to someone."  Malcolm knows suspicions will arise, but can't quite resist.  "When I first saw Angie, I kept having to remind myself: Don't get booty-blinded, don't get booty-blinded, you're here to play Survivor, make a million dollars & go home.  But, I mean, there's no denying that's a good-looking girl."

Roxanne, who now seems to be "Roxy" to everyone, has noticed that Malcolm & Angie were not leaving room for The Holy Spirit between their hard, hard bodies.  She is alerted to "full-on cuddling", & notes that "with Angie, it's literally a booby trap".  And with that, I know that this recap is going to write itself.

Is the snuggling really threatening, though?  With said hard bodies (& faces!) fully covered, it seems about as romantic as 2 Greendale Human Beings, from Community:

At Yellow (Tandang), RC finds the clue in the bag of rice.  All 3 clues have now been found - Red's clue by Penner & Blue's Clue (lolz) by Russell, although we've yet to see any development with him & the idol.   RC manages to hide it from Lisa, but Abi-Maria happens to see it.  Luckily, they're in a Sexy Alliance together, & RC wants Abi-Maria to trust her, so she shares the clue.  Sexy Alliance reads the clue together on the beach & decide to keep it to themselves, & not share it with Pete & Mike, the newer additions to Sexy Alliance.

Later, Abi-Maria is swimming in the water & sees RC & Mike talking.   She is immediately suspicious & jealous, but there's really no need to worry, Abi-Maria - Mike was just needing medical attention.  Again.

RC explains: "To me, Mike is my father".*  Abi-Maria isn't convinced, but she's no stereotypical spicy Latina, so she's not going to go cray-cray.  Just one cray, as she attempts to soften her threat: "I am your friend, but if you fuck with me, you're dead.  You are done.  Just letting you know."

This is the face of someone who thought she partnered with sexy, & now realizes she partnered with crazy.

At Red (Kalabaw), the tribe tells Penner they're playing checkers since it won't stop raining.  Penner is all "Awesome!  Great idea!  Rainy day, clever!" on the outside, but on the inside, he's dying to search the camp for the idol.

His foot may actually be tapping.

Everyone but Penner leaves for the cave where they might be able to keep a fire going.  Penner searches like a madman & is caught by Dana & Dawson, who return for the flint.  Penner tells them he was looking for his glasses, because the rain washed his contact lens out.  Now, I've worn contacts for 18 years, & a contact has only ever blinked out of my eye one time, & that was when it was really windy & it was dry.  But they bought it, so nice save, Penner.

Penner later realizes that if he had read the clue where he found it, "right under his nose" would have been the rice container, where the lid handle looks very much like an idol.  Penner grabs a machete, pries the top off & gets himself the first Hidden Immunity Idol of the game.

"For the first time in 3 tries, I have...(pause for verklemptness)...the Hidden Immunity Idol.  It's fantastic."  He is happy, & I am happy.  I know there are a lot of people who don't like when past players come back, but when it's Penner, how can you not be happy he's on your TV screen again?  LOVE HIM.  Penner goes for a victory lap past Dana, yelling "I'm on fire!" & on the other side of the island, Skupin stops, drops, & rolls.

At Blue, Roxy is still bothered by Malgie's continued snuggling.  I wonder if she's jealous?  In her pre-interviews, she made comments about there being a guy she found very attractive, & was hoping she could keep her head straight.  Maybe Malcolm had been letting The Hair loose before the game started, & now Roxy is feeling slighted?  Whatever the reason, she thinks Malgie is dangerous (no fair), & they're being irresponsible (too sexy) & she doesn't like it (but maybe wants it).  She goes to Russell, who has noticed something, too.  "It looks like she's got some boob thing going on...they're popping up all over the place."

In Angie's defense, her boobs are covered most of the time. *cough* Alicia *cough*

Roxy then goes to Denise, who says "Part of it is a 24yr old guy snuggling up to something that is really nice to snuggle up to, but now it's like there are these huge targets on their backs."

I hear what you're saying, Denise, but I see that you mean "huge targets on her front".

Before we leave Blue, we get a shot of a Praying Mantis, a fascinating creature known for sexual cannibalism.  I fear this is foreshadowing the downfall of Malcolm at the hands of Angie, as the Praying Mantis shown was in Pageant-mode.

Fierce mantis is fierce.

Over at Yellow, Lisa is miserable in the rain.  She can't busy herself with tasks & is forced to sit with people she doesn't feel connected to.  "I'm an introvert by nature.  I don't do well with chit chat.  I'm not very good at that.  I'm very shy, so if I'm on a stage, I can be behind a role, but in real life, my tendency is just to withdraw & not let anybody in."  I FEEL YOU, LISA.  Screw you, small talk.

Yellow doesn't realize this, & they think she's sneaking around looking for the idol.  Abi-Maria feels Lisa isn't trying hard enough to connect with the tribe, but it's not that easy for everyone, & also, why do you have such a hate-on for her, Abi-Maria?  Moms can be sexy, too.  Instead of searching for an idol, Lisa is crying at the edge of a well.

This reminds me of a movie I once saw...

No, not that movie....I'm thinking of the one with Abi-Maria in it....

Yes.  This is the one.

Lisa says she's been on her own since she was 12, when she moved to California for The Mickey Mouse Club.  What now?  That's a whole new level of fame right there.  Check out this clip of The New Mickey Mouse Club performing at THE HALFTIME SHOW OF THE SUPERBOWL in 1977.  I mean, can you even imagine if this season's Superbowl featured a halftime show courtesy of Wizards of Waverly Place?  Wow.  Check out adorable Lisa at the 5:44 mark.

Only Mike knows of Lisa's famous past, & he doesn't seem to be sticking up for her much.  Pete then makes a joke: "She's like a dog that keeps escaping the fence in the backyard...eventually you just gotta shoot it."  Everyone laughs but WTF?  How many puppies has Pete killed because he couldn't build a proper fence?

Engineering Graduate AND MONSTER.

Blue is blue.  They're wet & cold & Roxy is disappointing The Hair.  "Russell is on fire duty, & me & Denise are just trying to keep the shelter in one piece, & Roxy's just out of it.  She's not working, her mind's not in it, & everyone's noticing it."

At least Angie is keeping me warm at night.

Roxy thought being a seminary student & Christian would have given her great strength in this game, but she's in tears.  She seems to be having a mini crisis of faith & says it's because she's not in her comfort zone.  Doesn't she want to be a chaplain in the Armed Forces?  I can't imagine they have all the comforts in life.  She says it's like encountering Christ all over again, & it's not easy.  I don't understand what that means.

The sun comes out, & suddenly Roxy's faith is restored.  She is full of thanks & praise, but she should be thanking Dawson, because the sun came out when she smiled.

Dawson called me a "blogging goddess" last week, so this is all completely valid & not biased in any way.

Roxy is still praying & now speaking in tongues or something, which is making Denise nervous.  Even Russell (who had tried to cheer up Roxy when she was crying) is surprised.  "I thought she'd have a little more strength of character."

Denise says "Roxy's been praying for, like, sunshine from God.  If it works for her, fantastic.  I'm respectful, but it's just not my gig.  I don't pray for anything, anything that's gonna get me to the end of the game, it's gonna be me."

Denise Stapley: Where has she been all my life?

Now that she is over her trying times, Roxy is growing more agitated by Malgie's continued fraternization in the light of day.

"I'm having trouble with my coconu..."

"I'll help you with those...oh, an actual coconut?"      "OMGURSOBADDDLOLZ"

On to the Immunity/Reward Challenge, where pairs from each tribe will pull sleds to get bundles of puzzle pieces.  When all pieces are back, a pair will solve the puzzle while another player calls instructions.  First tribe to finish wins Immunity + a tarp + blankets & pillows.  Second tribe wins Immunity + a tarp.  Probst's got nothing for the third tribe.

Someone on Blue has to run twice - Angie (who proclaimed herself a track athlete at last Tribal Council) says she doesn't want to, & Roxy says she's been drinking less water, so it just doesn't make sense for her to go twice.  Meanwhile, on Red, Jeff (& his injured leg) volunteers to run twice.

Blue falls behind quickly as Russell & Angie get the sled caught behind the platform.

At least Russell stacked the puzzle pieces properly...

This episode seemed to have an extra cameraman dedicated to RC's ass, & my husband is a fan of that guy's work.

Angie the track star is tired & decides to push instead of help with the pulling, but really just kind of uses the sled to keep herself up.

So, you know, the opposite of helping.

Blue catches up to the other tribes at the puzzle stage, with Denise calling.  She directs her tribe to turn a piece around "like Tetris", & for realz I am in love with Denise.

Artis says "There you go!" & that's all for Artis (though it still gives him more screentime than Carter & Katie put together, so WTG Artis!)

In her exhaustion, poor Angie mistakes this post for Malcolm.

Yellow finishes first, Red second, & Blue is going to Tribal Council again.  This causes Russell, the man who was going to try to chill, to angrily throw down a puzzle piece & go on a rant.  "I'm pissed off.  I'm sick of this I can't do this, I can't handle this.  Either go hard or go home.  Forget these other stupid-talking tribes.  They can't beat us - they shouldn't be able to beat us."
Probst: "And yet they have, twice."
Russell manages to stop himself from calling Probst a "stupid-head".  Angie offers, "At least we were close."  There's still a Congeniality Immunity, right?

Much like the scales of justice tattoo on his chest, Russell must weigh his next decision in terms of fairness & truth.
Stepping onto the fairness scale is Roxy: useless, but tells Russell everything & trusts him.
Stepping onto the truth scale is Angie: useless, but keeps Malcolm warm at night, better prepping him for challenges.

Now having to fight for her life, the formerly subdued Roxy talks to Russell in the ocean (in plain view of everyone), & morphs into a hand-flying, eye-rolling, taking-off-my-stiletto-so-I-can-stab-you-with-it chick.

Surprise!

"I can respect people who do good games, you know.  Where it's like, yo, they schemin' & schemin'.  That one over there, who ain't got no skills at all?  Just show the boobs, somebody'll fall for it."

Malgie witnesses this transformation of character & Malcolm says "She's going gangster.  We're gonna be called out."  I cannot express how much I enjoyed Angie's quick expression change as she first laughed at what Malcolm said, & then understood it.

This is what transpired next:
A: "For what?"
M: "Sleeping situation."
A: "Well, what's she gonna say? (does a voice) 'We need to vote Angie out!'
M: "Yeah, that's what she's saying."
A: (genuinely shocked) "She is?!?"
M: (looks at her like he can't believe this is a conversation he is part of) "...what else would she be saying?"

Russell tries to convince Denise that Angie's not the innocent player she's leading them to believe, & it looks like Russell prefers Roxy's uselessness over Angie's.  Denise knows she's caught between these 2 alliances & is just hoping her trust in Malcolm as a strategic player is well-founded.  She's hoping he's not "blinded by the headlights."

"...but I don't see a car...?"

At Tribal, Probst asks Roxy to finish a sentence: "If there's one thing I could change about this tribe, it would be..."  Roxy wishes her tribe wouldn't insist on doing so much work around camp because they don't have any energy left at challenges.  "Like, that's awkward."

Probst asks Angie the same question, & she responds "That we could...have cookies?"  (Like I said, it kind of writes itself this week.)

Probst is dumbfounded & asks Malcolm what he thinks about that.  Malcolm says "Everyone's really hungry, so I think that's a great answer, in fact, it's my answer too, & I don't like where you're headed because I'd like to eventually score with this girl & you'll ruin everything." *wink* 

Probst is taking over Honey Badger duties from Kat: he don't care.  "Wait a second, REALLY?  In a game for a million dollars, one of your tribemates says 'Cookies would be good!'"  Malcolm then mutters something about a "terrible wing, man"?  I couldn't really make it out.

Roxy brings Malgie to Probst's attention, Malcolm denies it & says Angie's like a little sister.  Roxy says that's creepy & I am with her on that, & only that.  Probst asks Roxy why Malgie bothers her so much & she says "It bothered me on Day 1.  To me it was like a booby trap...(looks at Angie)...sorry..." 

Then there's this awkward exchange of catty remarks while both remain pleasantly seated on stools.
"I'm sorry that I'm cold."
"Oh, yeah.  You're freezing, right."
"Yeah I am."
"Yeah you are."
"I would cuddle with you, but uh..."
"Yeah, no, I'm good."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."

Not ONE stiletto came off, you guys!  Bummer.  Angie says she understands how dangerous perception can be in a strategic game like this.  Just kidding, she just said "yes" when Probst asked her that.  Turns out she didn't understand, & Probst actually claps his hands loudly 3 times, yelling "Wake up!".  Ah, good times, Honey Badger Probst.  Good times.

It seems that when Angie stepped on Russell's scale of justice, something(s) weighed it heavily down, as Roxy is voted out, unanimously.  She wishes her remaining tribemates well with  "God bless, & Shalom."

Good luck in the Army?

*In unrelated news, Skupin checked into a hospital last night after accidentally stabbing his thigh with a fork, screaming "Why do they all say that?!?".



I'd like to thank the Survivors who had lovely things to say about my recap of the premiere - Dawson, RC & Denise are super cool, & Penner (PENNER) sent me a message saying he loved it.  I think I blushed typing that.  So thanks, you guys!

My blog now has a Facebook page, so you can stay updated there - & maybe get the first look at the Final 7 LEGO recap when I get started on it...

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