Survivor: Blood vs Water - MOMS - 27.10

Holy Mom episode.  Katie is dealing with her Mom's recent exit to Redemption Island, Monica gets away with a calculated move because of the idea that Moms are selfless, & of course, Ciera votes her own Mom, Laura, out of the game.  To top it all of, I watched this episode with my Mom, & then the next morning with my son. MOMS.

Everyone who has been dying to hear strategy talk from the woman who makes LEGO memes about Reality TV, you're in luck!  This week I had the pleasure of speaking with Rob Cesternino about this week's episode, so check out my debut appearance on #RHAP, on the Richard Hatch (!!) podcast.

This pic will make sense once you listen.

Now to recap...

Katie is pretty sure she's doomed after the alliance of 7 just voted her Mom out.

Ciera asks her Mom to *please* avoid conversation about strategy & just continue to let Tyson run things.

But in a confessional, Ciera says:

The Redemption Island duel is a repeat of the grappling hook/table maze challenge from South Pacific, which Ozzy won, sending Cochran home for really reallz.  On RHAP, I mentioned that every single time I see a grappling hook on Survivor, I imagine Coach tucked into bed, weeping into a bearskin blanket, clutching his grappling hook tightly.  He 100% uses a grappling hook more often in his daily life than I use a remote control.

Vytas & Tina finish the challenge, & Aras leaves the game for really reallz.  Probst tries to drag out the bro-drama, but Aras isn't giving up any tears this time.  Vytas gives the Hidden Immunity Idol clue to Katie, after he diplomatically says "I plan on winning a few of these here, so it'll definitely be passed around."  Katie keeps the clue, which is useless as the idol has already been found by Tyson.

Later on, Tyson takes his shirt off.

Ciera sits her Mom down to try to explain to her that at some point, one of them is going to have to go, & it should be Laura.  Ciera says she came into this wanting to sit at the end with her Mom, but now she realizes "It won't happen.  It's not practical."  After the difficult conversation, Laura ends up feeling proud of her daughter.  MOMS.

The next morning, Katie rushes out early to search for the idol that's no longer there.  Laura sprints across the beach to catch up with her, & both start digging for an idol that's not there.

Back at camp, Tyson is realizing that he's seen as "the big bad wolf", & to keep those voted out on TEAM TYSON, he needs to adjust his game.  He wants to get Ciera on board with voting her Mom off.  Laura is like Cool beans & Tyson is like That was easy.

The Immunity Challenge is another iconic Cochran challenge - holding onto a rope while leaning back as long as you're able.  Monica wins Immunity, & with it, a feast of hot dogs, burgers, & pop.  Everyone knows it sucks to win a Reward Challenge after the merge, so when it's combined with an Immunity Challenge, it's really shitty.  The dreaded "Choose one other person to share it with" sucks balls.  Monica is in a lose-lose situation, & tearfully asks if she can forfeit the reward so everyone else can partake.  Now, of course this was a strategic play, but she really doesn't have another option.  This might not help her get further, but by not choosing any one or two people, she's not burning anyone either.  Caleb acknowledges that the move is probably political, but "Monica's a Mom, so I think it comes from the heart."

This is the double-edged sword that Moms in Survivor face.  Monica can get away with a strategic move like this because MOM...but Dawn was seen negatively, also because MOM, as according to all the awful people on the internet, & Malcolm in Caramoan's Final Tribal Council, "You can't be the warm Mother of 6 who stabs people in the back."  YES YOU CAN.  MOMS CAN BE ALL OF THESE THINGS.  So can Dads, but nobody seems to look at Skupin or Penner as duplicitous when they strategize because DAD.  Why is that?  Parenting is parenting, & let's not forget that a good chunk of parenting is lying.  Elaborately.  To your child's face.  Often.  About everything.  Why you can't have that.  Why you can't go there.  What Mom's talking about on the phone & can you please just give me some privacy already.  I mean, just think about the Christmas season alone.  SO MANY LIES.

My own Mom had a different theory.

"People who have bodies like that do not eat hot dogs. She's probably a vegan." - my Mom, re: Monica #Survivor #BloodvsWater
— Lisa Ferreira (@MomOfKai) November 21, 2013

So, who knows?  If Probst had instead offered a veggie feast with all the fixin's - all the kale, green apples & kombucha she could consume - perhaps she would have just said "Tyson, get on over here & share this with me." WE'LL NEVER KNOW.

Back at camp, Ciera tells Katie of Tyson's plan to vote out her Mom.  Katie says she's playing the idol anyway, & Ciera lies, telling her she knows she doesn't have it because she found the idol, & Katie just folds.  As Ciera later told her alliance:

Ciera tries to convince her alliance that since Katie doesn't have the idol, it's no biggie to keep her Mom for one more week.  Tyson knows how dangerous leaving a pair together would be, so he decides to stick with voting out Laura.

At Tribal Council, Aras shows up super-handsome & somehow pulls off a pink tank.

Werk it.

There is a back & forth over whether having your loved one in the game is an asset or a liability at this point, & then it's time to vote.  Probst reads the votes, & one of my favourite Survivor tweets of this season marked the occasion:

did anyone else see the bulge in probst's pants when he saw that ciera wrote "mom" on her parchment? #promotionalgold #survivor
— Ali Lasher (@lashtweets) November 21, 2013

Yes, Ciera voted out her Mom.  I can only imagine that Probst is bummed that Blood vs Water wasn't aired on a Spring season of Survivor, as that finale usually lands on Mother's Day.  WHAT WERE YOU GUYS THINKING?



Comment below, on twitter (@MomofKai) or on this blog's Facebook page!





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Survivor: Blood vs Water - Prayer, Bro - 27.7

After being voted out, Kat makes her way to Redemption Island, proud of herself for not crying.  At least, not too much.   The next morning is a different story, however.

Off to the Redemption Island Duel, & it's a repeat of the final Immunity Challenge puzzle in Caramoan.  You know, this one:

Kat would like Hayden to switch with her, but he's like,

I think I cried every single time Kat cried in this episode (I am hyper-emotional, & also love a good Survivor romance), while my 9 year old rolled his eyes & said things like:
"OMG, so dramatic."
"Now he's crying, too?"
"Are they going to finish talking about this before Tribal Council?"

Babe rocks yet another challenge & finishes first (& gives the clue to Monica, who again burns it), followed by Laura M finishing second.  Kat tearfully leaves for really reallz, still afraid she's disappointed Hayden.

Here is where I say that Day 17 is probably my favourite day out of all 39 days of Survivor.  For it is the day all the beards are like "Hey, there.  I've been growing for 17 days.  Look at me."  Look at you, indeed.

I mean...I promise not to complain about bikini girls in Survivor casts as long as beardly men remain in the mix.

Back at Tadhana, Hayden is agonizing over not swapping for Kat, much to my son's chagrin. "Seriously? More on this?"  Aras is meditating & visualizing re-connecting with Vytas & winning the game.  Meanwhile, Tyson is solidifying a Final Five with Gervase, Caleb, Hayden & Ciera.

At Galang, Tina notices that Vytas & Katie are getting along nicely, & voices every Mother's dream for their daughters.

The women of Galang are falling for Vytas. "In my experience, women love a bad boy.  But what they even like more than a bad boy is a newly reformed bad boy."

From

to

Unbeknownst to our NRBB, his tribe is still resigned to voting him out should they end up at Tribal Council again.

Off to the Immunity Challenge, which involves tribes chained together at the ankles, an obstacle course, & finally a bolo toss.  First tribe to finish wins Immunity & fried chicken.  Tadhana wins, & races across the beach to get to their feast where my second favourite Survivor quote containing the word "bro" is spoken.

Tyson ain't got time for that, though.

At Galang, Laura B decides to tell Vytas he's going home.  The rest of the tribe looks stunned & tight-lipped & that monumental fuck-up pretty much sealed the fact that Laura's going home & yes that's what happened & there's not even much of a point to make this any longer than it has to be, so we'll end it right there.

There may not be recaps for the next 2 weeks, so follow me twitter (@MomofKai) for the very serious business of Survivor live-tweeting LEGO memes, & like this blog's Facebook page! 

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Survivor: Blood vs Water - The Golden Ruler - 27.6

After voting Laura M out at the last Tribal Council, Tyson & Gervase set their sights on "King Aras".

The Golden Ruler

Thinking that the merge is coming soon, they don't want him reuniting with Vytas to vote the 2 of them out.  Tyson is as torn up about this as Tyson gets.  "I really do like Aras, he's a great guy, he's funny - he's a little out there on his, uh, zen-type beliefs, because I just have zero beliefs."  Except for one.

At the Redemption Island Duel, Laura M won't let Ciera swap with her, as she's pretty sure she can handle the challenge.  OH, REALLY?  Well, how will you feel after the details have been revealed?  Now that you know that you have to...place numbered tiles in the correct order....okay, I guess you're still confident.  Who wouldn't be?

Laura M can count to 100, so she finishes first.  John can also count to 100, so he finishes second.  Culpepper leaves for really reallz, after a dramatic speech where he tells Monica, "I came on here as a shield.  Through my fault, or no fault of my own, I probably became an anchor.  You're free.  The wind is blowing.  Sail.  Sail hard."

Knowing the episode was titled "One Man Wrecking Ball", but not knowing who it referred to before the episode aired, I thought about what would make me laugh the hardest, & asked @AriFerarri to make it happen.  Ari follows through, & even though I now know the title refers to Tyson, I WOULDN'T CHANGE THIS FOR ANYTHING.

Laura M chooses to give the Hidden Immunity Idol clue to Vytas, who walks down & throws it in the fire.  Probst then announces they're gonna "switch things up" with a tribe swap.  Everyone picks a random buff, & the results are about as uneven as they possibly could be.

New Galang

New Tadhana

At the new Tadhana, Ciera, Caleb, & Hayden are dismayed that their new tribemates are eating all their food.  If Kat had switched tribes, Hayden's feelings on the matter may have been different.

At Galang, Kat is frustrated with Monica's constant strategy talk.

Back at Tadhana, Tyson is deftly ensuring that Aras is seen as the biggest threat.  "I need to make sure people know that between him & I, he's the one in charge."

At Galang, Vytas is trying to bond with the ladies.  He really doesn't have to do much, though - he shares his troubled past & does some shirtless yoga, oblivious to its effect (...okay...) & the ladies love him.

Off to the Immunity Challenge, which involves swimming, diving, & releasing 3 fish traps containing pieces to be used to solve a puzzle.  First tribe to finish wins Immunity & a picnic with all the fixin's.   Tina & Laura B forget to bring the first fish trap back, giving Tadhana a huge lead.  Tadhana slows down at the puzzle stage, giving Galang a chance to catch up.  Galang incorrectly thinks they've won not once, but twice, & stand around looking stunned as Tadhana wins.

Back at Galang, Tina apologizes for forgetting the fish trap.  Luckily for her, the women want to take out Vytas as it seems clear he would abandon them post-merge.  Kat tells Tina that she would rather vote out Monica, which gets back to Monica.  Monica confronts Kat & gives her the MOM STARE: narrowed eyes & judgmental nodding, just waiting for Kat to break.  Monica believes in the Golden Rule, but has come to realize that Survivor has its own Golden Rule.

At Tribal Council, Kat seems flustered trying to convince her tribe to keep her.  Vytas, on the other hand, is calm & rational & somehow convinces the tribe that even though he has allegiances with both the old Tadhana, & his brother Aras, he would be loyal to them post-merge.  We see Vytas voting for Kat, & he throws a dig her way referencing the first episode of Survivor: One World.  "I hope you enjoy the ambiance at Redemption Island."

Kat is voted out & heads to Redemption Island where she is worried that Hayden will be disappointed in her. "From a scale of 1-10 on coolness, I just got a negative 2."

This is like the inverse of when people on The Bachelor say "If we can just climb this bridge, there's nothing we can't do together."  Do you think Hat's love can survive this devastating blow?  Comment below, on twitter (@MomofKai) or on this blog's Facebook page!

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Survivor: Blood vs Water - Hammocks & Hoodies - 27.5

Tadhana is reeling from a Tribal Council that saw a bold move from Caleb lead to a tied vote, with Culpepper ultimately being voted out.  Meanwhile, at Redemption Island...

At Galang, Laura M gives Aras a massage that's a bit on the uncomfy side...but it's nothing compared to last season's uncomfy massage.

At the Redemption Island duel, Monica tearfully asks Culpepper if she can take his place.  She is shushed, like, immediately...but I guess this time the intent is sweet.

The RID involves collecting puzzle pieces to form a bridge, crossing that bridge, & then disassembling the pieces to use in a puzzle.  John finishes first, & Culpepper finishes second, meaning Candice leaves for really realz.

Earlier, Probst had called Candice out for having the most to say about Culpepper despite not having played a single day in the game.  I recently had a twitter conversation with someone who called Candice a "bitch" because...well, I still don't really understand the reasoning, other than Candice being a strong woman who spoke her mind & played the game as hard as she could from Redemption Island & people like that are the worst, I guess.  Clearly, I am

Once again, John gives the Hidden Immunity Idol clue to Monica, & once again, Culpepper tells her to throw it in the fire, which she does.  Back at Galang, Monica is trying to be optimistic, though shaken by Brad's situation.  "We're the same person - if one of us is here, we're both here."

Meanwhile, at Tadhana...

And also...

And also this:

Off to the Immunity Challenge, which involves slides & a ring toss to win Immunity & a steak dinner with all the fixin's.  It comes down to Gervase vs Hayden, & Hayden wins the first Immunity Challenge for Tadhana.

At the Galang camp, Laura B is nervous, & nervously tries to stir up drama by nervously telling Kat the other girls were being catty to her. *nervous laughter*

Kat knew Laura was just scrambling - you can't fool Kat when she's like

Everyone wants to vote Laura B out because she's not a returning player, they're annoyed by her & she makes people uncomfy.  But Aras wants to go another way.

Aras snuggles with a french-braided Tyson on a hammock where they decide Laura M should go next.

At Tribal Council, Gervase & Tina discuss how much the game has changed since Seasons 1 & 2.  Probst places a hand on his hip like he's about to sashay down a staircase, & he bluntly asks Laura B: "You were voted out seconds into the game, you're now on a tribe with people who've played before - you've never played.  Do you belong out here?"  *nervous laughter*  Probst then does a Rupert impression, & it's impecable.

Laura M is voted out, & the drama is almost too much for Kat to bear, as she pulls her hoodie strings tightly across her face.

The only question I'm left with is: What's the cutest thing about this season - Kat's hoodie-pull or ARSON?  Comment below, on twitter (@MomofKai) or on this blog's Facebook page!


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Survivor: Blood vs Water - The Farmer - 27.4

After a blindside orchestrated by his best bro, John greets his wife & Marissa at Redemption Redonkadonk Island.

At Tadhana, Culpepper is explaining his move: he wants to get rid of those without loved ones still in the game. He's assuming that come the merge, the loved ones of his allies will join with him.  That's a) assuming an awful lot, & b) completely contradictory to why he said he wanted to get rid of John originally - if Candice gets back in the game, John's loyalty will be to her, & not him.

At the Redemption Island duel, Candice enters giving Culpepper the finger, & accusing him of shushing the women on his tribe.  Culpepper responds by talking over Candice to her husband.

The Duel culminates in a puzzle in which John pulls ahead & finishes first.  Probst comments:

Candice finishes next, meaning Marissa leaves Survivor for really realz, after being voted out to spite Gervase. That is harsher than anything Tia & Tamera had to deal with on Sister, Sister.

Probst asks John who he wants to give the Immunity Idol clue to, & Candice suggests Monica, as the clue may make her a target.  Probst immediately jumps on Candice, asking John if she always tells him what to do.  John gives it to Monica, & Culpepper repeats "Walk it down & throw it in the fire.", which she does.  Now is a good time for you to read this.

Back at Tadhana, Cullpepper's allies would like to keep him around until the merge, so he'll be a bigger target. Hayden says, "But we also gotta make sure we don't get John'd."

Then we're treated to a shot of Culpepper that couldn't be more perfect:

Oh no, oh no, oh no! #FuckYouBradCulpepper fucking killed Nemo! pic.twitter.com/viIQ4ECuLn

— Andy Dehnart (@realityblurred) October 10, 2013

At Galang, Tyson & Gervase have bonded over crime.

The Immunity Challenge involves rowing, diving, untying, stacking & puzzle-solving.  Despite still having an injured shoulder from the last Immunity Challenge, Tyson is not one of the 2 Galang members who sit out.

Galang continues to have trouble rowing, but it's not quite as dramatic as before:

Both tribes start the puzzle at roughly the same time, & again, Galang wins Immunity.  Hayden is bummed.

Culpepper is wanting Caleb gone, because without Colton, Caleb is the perfect extra ally he & Monica could use post-merge - someone he's already aligned with, who has no stronger ties...wait, what?  Oh right, this makes NO SENSE.  Culpepper tells Ciera & Katie to vote for Caleb.

Culpepper then changes his mind & sides with the rest of his alliance, who want Ciera gone.  At Tribal Council, Culpepper admits that voting out a loner in the game is appealing, because maybe nobody from Galang would yell "Fuck you, Brad Culpepper" for once at a Redemption Island duel.  Maybe.

Caleb comments that he loves a blindside, but doesn't want to be the butt of one.

Caleb lays it out: "I'm gonna write Brad's name down."  Time to vote, & it is tied between Brad & Ciera.  On the re-vote, Hayden is either struggling with whether or not to change his vote, or how to spell Ciera.

Vytas changes his vote, & Culpepper leaves to join the Babes at Redemption Island.

So, Caleb orchestrated a last-minute blindside at Tribal Council, right in front of his target, & in case you forgot he's a farmer, HE IS A FARMER.

"I was fine being the goat."
"That's where it should have ended instead of me feeling like the calf being led to slaughter."
"You mess with the bull, you get the horns."

Is Caleb overtaking Vytas as my/your favourite newbie?  Comment below, on twitter (@MomofKai) or on this blog's Facebook page!

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