In the most recent Presidential debate, Mitt Romney proclaimed "We took a concerted effort to go out and find women who had backgrounds
that could be qualified to become members of our cabinet. I went to a
number of women's groups and said: ‘Can you help us find folks,’ and
they brought us whole binders full of women.” Who could have known that the internet would have exploded as it did? I give you the very best Binders of Women memes.
COMMUNITY
The 4th season of Community was set to premiere on October 19. NBC decided to push it back, & the show released this video to help upset viewers understand. NBC Britta'd it.
MY LITTLE PONY MEETS STAR WARS
Artist Sheena Henderson has transformed My Little Pony figures into characters from Star Wars, & they are fantastic.
They are available at her etsy shop, & she also takes commissions, so I'm not too concerned about the lack of an Admiral Ackbar (he would make an awesome My Little Pony, wouldn't he?). The detail is impressive, & while Slave Leia is my favourite, the Lando Calrissian really makes me giggle.
THE GREATEST EVENT IN TELEVISION HISTORY
Adult Swim had been promoting this "event" for awhile...all that was known was that it starred Jon Hamm & Adam Scott, & it was being hailed as The Greatest Event In Television History. A friend sent me the video, which turned out to be a behind-the-scenes special on the shot-by-shot recreation of the opening of Simon & Simon, which ran from 1981-1989. Hosted by Jeff Probst, & featuring many cameos, it is a hilarious mockumentary on this ridiculous project that turned out amazingly well. You can watch the 15 minute special at adultswim.com, but only if you login through your service provider (unavailable in Canada). It's no longer available on YouTube (although there are poor quality recordings of the special as it aired on TV), but here's a side-by-side comparison of the original Simon & Simon opening, & the Hamm/Scott recreation. If the full video ever shows up again, this post will be updated to include its awesomeness.
*UPDATE: It's available again! The video is below the side-by-side.
THE SADNESS OF PAIN AU CHOCOLAT
...but...but...you're bread with chocolate! Why are you so sad? :(
E.T. AUDITION
The audition Henry Thomas gave for the part of Elliott has recently shown up all over the place. And now I'm crying & have to watch E.T. again.
Those were my favourite sweets of the past week. Come back next week for more goodies!
Will Twilight ever not be made fun of? Hopefully not. A few weeks ago, I shared the hilarious Bad Lip-Reading of Twilight, where we learned never to eat Edward's cake. I've just discovered Honest Trailers, so here is the Honest Trailer of Twilight, starring Vanilla & Shovel Face.
I love The Avengers Honest Trailer, as well. "Witness the excitement of Iron Man repairing a spaceship for 20 minutes."
STINGRAY PHOTOBOMB
Yes, you can see the handler behind this adorable Stingray. Does that make this photo any less awesome? No. Here's an excerpt from a letter one of the girls wrote to the Huffington Post after this photo went viral: This photo was taken five years ago in Cayman Island at Stingray
Island. We were on a cruise for spring break. The photographer
originally asked us to take a photo with the stingray in front of us,
which we did, but then afterward as a joke he put it on our backs
without us knowing! Our reactions are genuine, and the photographer
snapped the photo at the perfect time! We had no idea that the photo was
so brilliant until later when he showed us the proof. We immediately
bought it. From left to right are Sarah Bourland, Natalie Zaysoff,
Kendall Harlan.
And just because, here's one more animal photobomb, this time a sloth. *squeal*
21 YEARS
Cory McLeod's parents took a photo of his face every day, for 21 years. Watch a person grow in this fascinating time-lapse video.
WALL TENTACLES
My Sister-in-Law brought this to my attention last week, which I think was kind of cruel because why didn't she just order it for me? You can't just say "Hey Lisa, this would look cool next to your dragon head!", & leave it at that. It's only $3500! Take in its beauty:
Check out more of this artist's work at ArtAkimbo's Etsy shop (where there are also smaller versions for around $250 - I'm not suggesting everybody should pitch in, but that's kind of a great idea & I would like it in purple.).
HISTORY OF TV THEME SONGS
Jimmy Fallon recently had the cast of his new show (Guys with Kids) on, & they presented this ambitious medley of TV theme songs. Sadly missing is the Growing Pains theme song, but it is well done, & you can't help but smile.
So, show me that smile again (oooh, show me that smile).
Those were my favourite sweets of the past week. Come back next week for more goodies!
Back in the spring, I was up for a position as a Pop Culture Blogger for a national website. After several article submissions, I was shortlisted (yay!) & a new task was given: post a vlog of a movie review on Youtube (ack!). This terrified me.
While I have always loved the stage (come see me as Tzeitel in Fiddler on The Roof next month!), without a written script I can be awkward. Not quite as awkward as 12yr old me, but enough to be anxious in social situations without bourbon:
I'm a fast-talker: I stumble over words, having to repeat myself.
I'm a loud-talker: I don't even know how it happens, but I often find myself yelling about there being no bourbon (oops, I just woke your baby up).
I'm a hand-talker: I'm constantly knocking things over, so I need a 3'
buffer between myself & all glasses of wine (& also babies).
I'm a blusher: If I misspeak, I will know it, you will know it, we will all know it. I'll probably yell about it later & wake your babies so I can spill wine on them & embarrass myself some more.*
I am a disaster at parties where I am the DD, so posting a video of myself casually chatting was going to be a problem. Looking back, I should have just filled my coffee cup with Woodford Reserve instead of coffee & WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS EARLIER?
I really wanted this writing position, though,
so I jumped in with both feet. Choosing a movie to review was the easy part...it happened to be the opening weekend for a
movie I was already very excited about: The Cabin in the Woods, which was released on Blu-Ray & DVD today.
The vlog didn't have to be perfect, or professional - it was mostly to get a sense of the personality behind the writing. The last thing I
wanted to do was submit a bland webcam video, so I enlisted my son to help. Watching it now,
there are moments I regret cutting, & I really wish I had taken my
husband's advice & left one part in particular out. Ugh. I hadn't made a point of sharing this video with anyone, aside from family & close friends (& a "blink & you'll miss it" appearance in the first ever Confectionery) but here is the result (spoiler-free):
So, making that video was fun...putting it out there on YouTube? Not so much. YouTube is full of people who post videos of themselves rambling incoherently with piles of dirty laundry behind them in their messy bedrooms. I will never understand those people; I was stressed that the fireplace wasn't consistent. I had over 2 hours
of footage to edit into this 5 minute video. Perhaps I spend too much time trying to ensure that anything I post is up to my standards, but in my defense, I'd like to remind you that tweets are being archived by the Library of Congress, so...the internet is forever,
people!
I don't understand the Dirty Laundry YouTube People**, & I feel the same when it comes to writing. One blogger in particular irks me every time I see a post retweeted on Twitter. The issues I have aren't typos or little grammar mistakes (please don't go "Grammar Police" on me), or even the no-punctuation-writing that's become a style of its own these days - it's just awful writing. There is a lack of basic sentence structure that makes me question whether or not this person can read. How could anyone write
so poorly & present it to the public? And how in the world could anyone else think it was decent enough to be shared? Am I the only person who reads what I've written out loud before publishing?***
This video helped me make it to the Top 3 out of many candidates. While
I ultimately didn't get the position, I was pleased with the
response. Stepping outside of my comfort zone to do this vlog was scary, but I'm so glad I made & submitted it. My friend Allison Baggio once told me not to wait for a writing opportunity - just write, write, write. Well, she's a published author, so I listened to her, & she was right. If I hadn't started writing my Survivor recaps & various other blog posts, I wouldn't have had anything to show for this job application. I wouldn't have made it to the shortlist, let alone the Top 3. One of my ideas for that gig was a series where I would share
my favourite pop culture tidbits of the week. Once I realized that I
didn't have to give up on that idea just because I didn't get that job, The Confectionery
series was born. No, I don't have the readership they would have given
me, but I've kept writing & you've kept reading, & I thank you for
that.
Now please watch The Cabin in the Woods so we can talk/tweet about this incredible film, spoilers & all!
*Hmmm...I may also be an over-analyzer. I will look into it.
**Amazing band name. You're welcome.
***OK, I see it now. I will work on this for really reallz.
These are the things that I think are great. So great that I want to sing about them.
ROM-COM FACE-SWAP
Finally, a site that compiles all your favourite Romantic Comedy movie posters with the faces swapped. I seriously love Sandra Bullock as a man in both of her posters featured on this site, but this poster has a tiny Ryan Reynolds, so...
And because I can't just choose one favourite, here's another one I can't stop staring at. Is it just me, or do they look better like this?
I know it's still August, & nobody should be thinking about the harsh realities of winter, but these are too full of awesome to wait. Canada isn't quite the frozen wasteland Hoth is, but these new Wampa ice scrapers from thinkgeek will help me pretend.
I might get 2 & lumber around roaring & swiping at people. They would certainly come in handy for snow-shoveling wars with the neighbours. Available in October for $24.99, you can sign up to be notified by email when they're in stock here.
THE ADDAMS FAMILY CAST DOES NEWSIES
Perhaps I'm moving too quickly from nerd territory into super-nerd territory, but this must be shared. The touring cast of The Addams Family reworked the opening song from Newsies, "Carryin' The Banner". Tired of moping around on stage, here they dream about singing & dancing as happily as those newsboys, imagining "a show with no more snaps".
THEATRE PEOPLE ARE AWESOME. Compare with the original version from my #1 sick day movie pick, Newsies. Because how could Christian Bale in a Disney musical about unions in 1899 New York not improve your day?
BABY GOT BACK - SUNG BY THE MOVIES
This made me laugh. To see a full list of movies used, go here & hover over the CC button.
Those were my favourite internet sweets of the past week. Come back next week for more goodies!
These are the things that I think are great. So great that I want to sing about them.
PLAY ME, I'M YOURS / ANDREW MITCHELL
Recently, 41 vibrant pianos appeared all over Toronto as part of the Play Me, I'm Yours event. An art installation encouraging the participation of the community, it is a kick-off to the 3 year countdown to the 2015 Pan Am Games, to be held in Toronto. The pianos were designed by artists from each of the participating countries; they are beautiful.
Nicaragua
Costa Rica
Now, some people might simply appreciate the artistry of each design. Some may take a seat & play a little something if there's nobody around. Some might take the opportunity to share their talent & entertain. But that's not quite enough fun for my friend, Andrew. Andrew Mitchell played & sang Gavin DeGraw's "Not Over You" on 10 different pianos around the city, then edited the filmed performances together. In 2 minutes, visit Guatemala, Brazil, Suriname, Aruba, Cuba, Canada, The Bahamas, Haiti, Jamaica & Honduras, courtesy of Andrew!
I roll with talented people, what can I say?
To learn more about Play Me, I'm Yours & if it's headed to your city next, go here. To see some great photos of the pianos featured in Toronto, go here. To learn more about Andrew Mitchell, I will tell you he's awesome, & the only
thing that could have made this video MORE awesome is if he had been
wearing his rebel/Che Guevara costume from a production we were both in. I suppose Che singing "Not Over You" at the Cuban piano would have been disturbing, so...good call on the casual look, Andrew.
SCARY SMASH
Written By a Kid is a new series by Geek & Sundry that transforms a story told by a child into a short film. It's live-action, animated, stop-motion, & FUN. I love this first installment, starring Joss Whedon as the leader of the "S.Q.U.A.T. Team". I'm sure the kid was thinking of S.W.A.T., but this is MUCH funnier. Hilarious & creative & bonus Kids In The Hall cast member & love love love.
Check out other videos (costumes, casting & a "making of") here.
MR. WIZARD'S A DICK
Watch this compilation of times Mr. Wizard is snarky towards the children on his show. It is amazing.
Ashley is my favourite.
"RUSH AS FOOD" MEAL
Matt Kantor is a Rush fan who happens to be a chef. Combining the 2, he recently prepared a 9 course meal inspired by Rush. From the National Post article by Mike Doherty:
"Kantor’s amuse-bouche was something of a (dry) ice-breaker: a white blob
plucked out of a cauldron of liquid nitrogen, to be consumed whole; the
freezing substance quickly dissolving into a film of lime-flavoured
meringue. The dish was named after the song Limelight, not only
because of its ingredients, but also because eating it was a
performance — everyone was eager to see the smoke coming out of their
fellow diners’ noses."
"The song Red Barchetta, about a joyride in the future when cars
have been outlawed, became a deconstructed red bruschetta where a
tomato, shiny like a polished racecar, seemed to have burned black-olive
rubber through a “dirt road” of breadcrumbs."
To read more details of this very creative meal, like the complex "La Villa Strangiato" dish, read the full article here.
THE MINI-GOLF OPEN
Improv Everywhere is a comedy troupe that began with a Ben Folds Fake prank that I had read about several years ago. They haven't stopped creating scenes since then - their website boasts of over 100 missions involving tens of thousands of people in on the joke, or "undercover agents". Their latest scene transformed a family miniature golf outing into a major sports event - complete with fake ESPN coverage, caddies, a gallery, & the actual Claret Cup, just hoisted by the winner of this weekend's British Open, Ernie Els. The commentary is hilarious: "Max, of course, sponsored by Star Wars", & I love that the champion is greeted by a fake family. Well done.
Watch more scenes created by Improv Everywhere here.
LABYRINTH ONESIE
I saw this shirt at thinkgeek about 9 months ago & immediately had to order it for my niece, who was yet to be born. Labyrinth was on a steady rotation when my brother & I were young, so his baby had to have this.
What power?
You're reading this blog, so I assume you get the reference, but I see no need to NOT post this awesome clip full of awesomeness so you can have yourself a dance party.
Clearly, I am the nerdiest of Lily's 2 Aunts, as her Aunt Lindsay writes a wonderful blog about normal adult things like home renovating. The onesie is also available as a women's shirt, & you can buy them both here. Look how cute it looks on Lily!
She's working on her Goblin King hair.
So far, I've resisted the urge to toss her 20 feet into the air & wait for a Muppet to catch her. So far.
Those were my favourite internet sweets of the past week. Come back next week for more goodies!
"His
image is uniquely his. He doesn't look like anyone else, he doesn't
behave like anyone else, he doesn't dance like anyone else, he doesn't
sing like anyone else. ...His incredible softness as a real person is something that is a constant source of joy for me."
-Mario Batali on Michael Stipe
"The thing about Mario is that he has such enthusiasm for everything, & I'm really a very, very happy person, & I'm always the glass half-full guy. I'm like a 6 year old, & Mario is like a 6 year old. And so that enthusiasm for life & that ability to see beyond the things that are really bad or wrong, & find something good, is really what draws me to him as a friend...as a very dear friend."
-Michael Stipe on Mario Batali
I don't know why this friendship seems so unlikely - maybe their starkly opposite appearances, maybe the different paths in life both have taken - but it makes me smile. I learned about this friendship in a very round-about way.
You can get there from here.
I've written of my love for R.E.M. before, specifically my reaction to their breakup. I recently devoured this fantastic R.E.M. magazine by the makers of Uncut, a publication from the UK. My husband gave it to me on my birthday, & I looked forward to reading a retrospective of R.E.M. Having read countless R.E.M. books & interviews, I certainly didn't expect to learn anything new from it, but there are a lot of new (to me) tidbits here. For instance, I did not know that the "yeah"s in "Man on the Moon" were a cheeky attempt to surpass the number of "yeah"s in Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit", did you? This 148 page magazine delivers an incredibly in-depth look at the 30 year career of one of my favourite bands, with essays on every album, rare photos, & UK interviews I have never seen before.
It's hard to remember pop culture media before the internet was in every home. No Google search for instant gratification; I had to buy Rolling Stone & SPIN to read interviews. No YouTube to find Much Music or MTV appearances; I recorded them on VHS tapes & watched them back with fuzzy audio & blurry lines. That's if I happened to catch it when it was on TV, with no tweets to announce upcoming appearances, tour dates or magazine covers. I had to physically check the stores, looking for Stipe on the covers. Hard times, indeed. I still have a binder full of these well-read articles, complete with reinforcements for the punched holes. The only UK magazine I had access to was a Q magazine with a cover proclaiming R.E.M. the "best act in the world today", & I only have that because I bought it in London.
I took a souvenir.
One of the interviews in the Uncut R.E.M. magazine is from a 1993 issue of Melody Maker. Mat Smith's article begins backstage at the MTV Awards where R.E.M. is about to play for the first time in 9 months. Here is an excerpt from the article, as R.E.M. takes the stage with "Everybody Hurts":
"[Stipe] emphasises the 'Oh, hang on' as if it means so much to him, a cry for a lover not to slip away, a suicide to think again. A plea for contact when only loneliness and death stare back, haunted and inevitable. I've never felt such a sense of love and sheer, focused care coming from a rock singer.
As the song builds, within it, a latent, controlled turmoil threatens to bubble over. All of a sudden, Stipe signals a halt with one hand. The stiff upper lip is resumed, the song fades, the click track halts, but the sentiments stirred survive in all those present. Then, a movement to the right, a garbled jangle of electric chaos and we're into some kind of pile-driving, sure-footed funk that James Brown would shoot his wife for. Then the realisation dawns, this is the funk version of "Drive" that Buck was talking about earlier.
Stipe is suddenly enlivened, exhumed, like a mania has descended on him. He can't keep still, arms aloft like some cheap '70s go-go dancer. The transition is absolute. From sheer desperation to sheer control. ...If you could bottle the grin Peter sneaked [Stipe] at one point, you'd be a millionaire overnight. All of them are beaming. My heart is about to burst."
I don't know about you, but as soon as I read that, I had to watch that performance again. I know I have it taped on a VHS labelled Videos #3 or something, but I don't have to live like a heathen in the early 90s anymore. The transition to "Drive" begins around the 5:17 mark, & it is seamless.
I'm sure you know what happened next; I became sucked into hours of R.E.M. YouTube videos. Eventually, I happened upon a documentary on Michael Stipe that I didn't even know existed. Filmed in 2005, Stipe is featured alongside chef Mario Batali for The Sundance Channel's Iconoclast series. It is well worth a watch - Michael Stipe eating dinner is more captivating than most things on YouTube. And that's ignoring the fact that Stipe will always be my #1 celebrity crush (as if you could ever ignore his perfect combo of sweet + sexy, calm + passion, intellect + dry humour, but I digress). When asked what viewers would find fascinating about him, Stipe says "Maybe that I'm pretty normal" & he is absolutely correct. Stipe eating dinner, going to the market on a moped, preparing a meal, shopping for gifts, going to a concert as a fan...it's like seeing your 3rd grade teacher at the mall for the first time.
The documentary also reveals that blue is totally Michael's colour. Enjoy.
"The
friendship that Mario & I have is pretty particular & pretty
great, & the thing that nobody's really figured out is that it's
really because he loves music so much, & I love food so much, &
it's just as simple as that."
These are the things that I think are great. So great that I want to sing about them.
My favourite things of the week all come courtesy of Comic-Con. Every year it sounds amazing, & every year I wish I had gone. One day, I will get there. It is written.
Not just a mecca for hardcore comic book readers & gamers anymore, there is probably something at Comic-Con for everyone. If you don't care about The Hobbit (?!?!?), you might like to see a panel with creators & stars of The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, True Blood, Community, Twilight, or Kevin Smith. No? Maybe play the new Tomb Raider game? Check out the art of Tim Burton? LEGO? The Mattel display featuring Greyskull?
Who doesn't like Greyskull?
If all else fails, there's this:
Hundreds of thousands of fans descend on Comic-Con every year, & it's more mainstream than ever. The media still call Joss Whedon a "cult favourite"...yet he is behind the 3rd biggest movie of all time, co-wrote Toy Story, & has created shows with mass appeal. We are all embracing our nerdiness like never before, because really, everyone is nerdy about something they love, right? Whether comic books, film, TV, video games, music, food, sports, science, beer, architecture, the octopus, foreign policy...when you love something, you obsess over it. The thirst for more knowledge never goes away.
Comic-Con...I will forever want to be there, & here are a few examples of why it is such a shiny shindig. Before I get started, let's be honest - if you read my Confectionery blogs, you know of my love for Firefly. So I'll get most of the non-Firefly stuff out of the way first, because there's a lot of Firefly love here.
ROBERT DOWNEY JR.
It's hard to tell if this is Robert Downey Jr. appearing at Comic-Con for Iron Man 3, or Tony Stark appearing at a Stark Expo. Whichever guy this is, I WANT TO GO TO THERE.
Later, he crashes an Iron Man Costume Contest for kids. Super cool, super cute. Watch & imagine how star-struck all those hidden faces must be.
THE HOBBIT
The Hobbit panel previewed 12 minutes of The Hobbit to rave reviews, & also featured an adorable surprise guest, Elijah Wood. Watching this, I realize I am now in love with Richard Armitage's voice. At 12:13, just try to keep yourself from sighing.
Also, the first LEGO set based on the upcoming Hobbit movies was revealed at Comic-Con. Unlike the darker Helm's Deep, & Shelob Attacks sets under the Lord of the Rings title, this set features an adorable Bag End, with characters Gandalf, Dwalin, Bombur, Bofur, Balin & Bilbo.
You can see more photos here, including detailed shots of Middle-earth maps on the ground behind the hobbit hole.
THE WALKING DEAD ESCAPE
San Diego's Petco Park was transformed for Comic-Con into "a ballpark infested with zombies where you will climb, crawl, hide & slide your way to safety". To add to the realness, the zombie makeup was done by the creative team behind The Walking Dead. Check it out:
I am a huge fan of both the graphic novels & AMC series, & I can say without a doubt that I would never do this. I don't do haunted houses - I can't even handle anyone following me up the stairs. I'm confident that if I had attempted this obstacle course, someone would have found me curled up in a garbage can, sobbing, on the last day. You do not want me on your zombie apocalypse team, unless you plan to use me as bait. I can't argue with that logic.
ZACHARY LEVI'S NERD HQ
Zachary
Levi understands the power of fans. When his series Chuck was
threatened with cancellation in 2009, fans took it upon themselves to
not only write letters, but purchase sandwiches in a campaign for Subway
sponsorship. Watch this video of Zachary Levi leading Chuck fans in a
mass exodus to a Subway shop to save Chuck. It worked.
Last year, The Nerd Machine (a company founded by Zachary Levi) launched a separate event in San Diego at the same time Comic-Con was
on. The idea was to host small panels, Q&As, gaming events &
parties on a more intimate scale than Comic-Con. All proceeds go to Operation Smile, & last year $40,000 was raised. This year it was on track to make $100,000 (no figures have been released as of now). It is an amazing grass-roots event that this year had fans tweeting about being at a Nerd HQ dance party, sandwiched between Felicia Day & Joss Whedon. Panels included Dr. Who, Damon Lindelof, Twilight, Joss Whedon, Nathan Fillion, Seth Green, & Zac himself. Of course, the one I will embed is the wonderful Joss Whedon panel.
All other panels can be viewed at break.com, & you can read great blogs about the Nerd HQ experience here.
JOSS WHEDON WAKES UP FANS
At 3am Friday morning, fans who were camped out overnight to get into the Firefly 10th Anniversary panel were awakened by Joss Whedon. Joss went down the line to see everyone who was there, taking photos & signing autographs for the people who love Firefly as much as he does. How can you not love this man?
You can read an in-depth blog by someone who was there here.
FIREFLY 10th ANNIVERSARY PANEL
If you've never seen Firefly, maybe you don't understand the big deal around this gathering for a 14 episode series that's been off the air for a decade. Firefly was treated poorly by FOX - episodes were aired out of order, timeslots were changed abruptly - & it was cancelled after 11 episodes had aired. The fans rallied & eventually Firefly was resurrected in the form of a movie, Serenity. Firefly & Serenity continue to have a massive fan base, & if you have yet to watch this phenomenal series, please do so.
The panel itself was both hilarious & touching, & at times deeply emotional. Much has been said about the love between the cast & crew of Firefly, & it is apparent that this is still true, 10 years later. Firefly meant a great deal to everyone. The Science Channel will be airing a TV special about this reunion on November 11th.
The entire panel is worth watching, but here are a few highlights:
At the 16:47 mark, Adam Baldwin explains the origins of the infamous Jayne hat, likening it to "a birthday cake in a wasteland".
At the 24:23 mark, watch the hilarious mugging of Nathan Fillion when Joss gets sidetracked before answering "Why was Nathan the perfect captain for the Serenity?", & then watch as he can't contain his emotions when Joss finally answers.
At the 43:10 mark, Nathan delivers a beautiful sentiment about the ending of the show.
At the 47:48 mark, Joss is overcome when asked "What do the fans mean to you?" Virtually everyone on the panel is in tears along with him as a standing ovation cheers him on. He finally ends with a touching tribute to the fans & damnit, I'm crying again.
If that's not enough Firefly Comic-Con coverage for you, the post-panel press conference is just as entertaining & moving. Here it is, split into 3 parts.
As Nathan said, "When Firefly died, I thought it was the worst thing that could possibly happen. And what I realize now, 10 years later, looking out onto this room, is that the worst thing that could have happened is if it had stayed dead. That it died, is ok."
And as Joss said, "Can everyone tweet that I said that? I don't want him to have the best."
Those were my favourite internet sweets of the past week. Come back next week for more goodies!
Last week, my son & I went to an advanced screening of Brave, which opens in theatres tomorrow. You can check out this short piece I wrote for www.howtobearedhead.com, a site from & for redheads. Yes, we need our own site. Do YOU know where to find ginger-coloured mascara? Merida would. Actually, she would probably make it herself. She's self-sufficient that way.
When Robocop came out in 1987, I was 9 years old: too young to watch or care about anything that didn't feature pink ponies. Robocop became one of those movies - the movies you just never get around to watching, even thought you know you should.
With a remake in the works starring The Killing's Joel Kinnaman, I decided to finally watch the original to justify my excitement for the version where this man's face gets a clear helmet/visor:
I'd buy that for a dollar.
With a reason, Netflix, & a willing husband for company, I sat down to watch Robocop for the first time on Friday night. Instead, we ended up watching Transformers: Dark of the Moon, a choice which I deeply, deeply regret. We sat down to try again last night, vowing not to be seduced by a younger movie. Dead or alive, Robocop was coming with me. Into my living room.
...it sounded clever in my head.
[Spoilers Ahead]
[...if a 25 year old movie needs a spoiler alert...]
First of all, this movie was nothing like I expected it to be. I have to admit that I always thought Robocop was just a cop in a metal suit...like an Officer Ironman. I had no idea this was R rated until the scene with ED-209 made it abundantly clear. I had assumed Robocop was PG-13 because the fake premise I had in my head seemed tailor-made for teenaged boys.
I was WRONG. It was seriously graphically violent (which I approve of, in the context). When Murphy was horrifically & repeatedly shot by Red Forman & his hyena crew, I was genuinely stunned by:
a) the amount of blood Paul Verhoeven thinks is in an arm (that can't be right, can it?).
b) that Murphy actually died. Like I said, I thought he just put a suit on & arrested bad guys.
I already knew Peter Weller played Robocop, because when he showed up in season 5 of Dexter, my husband said "Hey, it's Robocop!" So when Murphy showed up in Robocop, I thought, "Hey! Vacation shirt shady guy!"
Maybe I've been spoiled because I've read so many convincing stories that explore humanity*, but I found the "journey" of Robocop a little
dull. Here are the main points leading to his "transformation":
-he still does the gun twirl thing he learned for his son.
-the name Murphy seems familiar.
-he dreams of his death.
Seeing Emil at the gas station triggers something more, but it's not really clear if it's just memories or actual feelings, a distinction Robocop makes when speaking of his family. Sure, the helmet coming off symbolizes
the return of a humanity of sorts, but is it Murphy's humanity, or just human-like qualities left over from brain damage because he was, you know, dead? (Also, I didn't cry, & I cry at everything. I should
feel something when a robot realizes that he used to have a human life,
with a wife & son, until he was brutally murdered & turned into a machine with big guns, right?) The dude is badass, yes. Is he the same guy he was before
he became Robocop? I don't buy it - he never even tries to find his
family. "Where are they?" "They've moved on." "Ok. Let's get some
revenge." That is a robot speaking, not a man. Remind me to find Johnny
Number 5 when I want some robot pathos.
Note to my husband: If you ever become a robot killing-machine, I still want you in my life, K? I promise to make your food-substance paste, charge your battery & clean your gears ifyouknowwhatimean.
The future that Robocop predicts doesn't look too far off from reality.** Future dystopian Detroit looks a lot like 2012 Detroit, but with less Kwame Kilpatrick drama. We have ridiculous commercials & sensationalist journalism, & even some of the same gadgets.
iPods!
Overall, I think the movie ages extremely well. Aside from the dated hair/wardrobe on half the characters, it's all very well done. The makeup & prosthetics on Toxic Waste Guy were incredible.
Toxic Waste: that shit works fast.
And although it made me giggle, the stop-motion robot ED-209 was quite the feat in 1987. To me, it looks like a Robot Chicken bit, but listening to these guys discuss it, I get that it was a big deal, & rightly so.
I will leave you with this compilation of all the times someone is thrown through a glass window or door in Robocop. Very entertaining, AND it includes the one rewind-&-rewatch moment for me: Dick's fall to his death.
*Two of my favourite novels by Robert J Sawyer explore the human condition exceptionally well, from different angles: Mindscan, taking place in a future where minds (thoughts, memories, your very being) could be uploaded into an android (handy if your body is failing you, but raising questions of legality & rights), & The Terminal Experiment,
in which a man creates 3 copies of his mind - 1 an exact replica, &
2 that are modified to
simulate life after death & immortality, & the consequences of
their choices & actions. Both excellent novels that dive into what
it means to be human.
