Survivor: Blood vs Water - Hammocks & Hoodies - 27.5

Tadhana is reeling from a Tribal Council that saw a bold move from Caleb lead to a tied vote, with Culpepper ultimately being voted out.  Meanwhile, at Redemption Island...

At Galang, Laura M gives Aras a massage that's a bit on the uncomfy side...but it's nothing compared to last season's uncomfy massage.

At the Redemption Island duel, Monica tearfully asks Culpepper if she can take his place.  She is shushed, like, immediately...but I guess this time the intent is sweet.

The RID involves collecting puzzle pieces to form a bridge, crossing that bridge, & then disassembling the pieces to use in a puzzle.  John finishes first, & Culpepper finishes second, meaning Candice leaves for really realz.

Earlier, Probst had called Candice out for having the most to say about Culpepper despite not having played a single day in the game.  I recently had a twitter conversation with someone who called Candice a "bitch" because...well, I still don't really understand the reasoning, other than Candice being a strong woman who spoke her mind & played the game as hard as she could from Redemption Island & people like that are the worst, I guess.  Clearly, I am

Once again, John gives the Hidden Immunity Idol clue to Monica, & once again, Culpepper tells her to throw it in the fire, which she does.  Back at Galang, Monica is trying to be optimistic, though shaken by Brad's situation.  "We're the same person - if one of us is here, we're both here."

Meanwhile, at Tadhana...

And also...

And also this:

Off to the Immunity Challenge, which involves slides & a ring toss to win Immunity & a steak dinner with all the fixin's.  It comes down to Gervase vs Hayden, & Hayden wins the first Immunity Challenge for Tadhana.

At the Galang camp, Laura B is nervous, & nervously tries to stir up drama by nervously telling Kat the other girls were being catty to her. *nervous laughter*

Kat knew Laura was just scrambling - you can't fool Kat when she's like

Everyone wants to vote Laura B out because she's not a returning player, they're annoyed by her & she makes people uncomfy.  But Aras wants to go another way.

Aras snuggles with a french-braided Tyson on a hammock where they decide Laura M should go next.

At Tribal Council, Gervase & Tina discuss how much the game has changed since Seasons 1 & 2.  Probst places a hand on his hip like he's about to sashay down a staircase, & he bluntly asks Laura B: "You were voted out seconds into the game, you're now on a tribe with people who've played before - you've never played.  Do you belong out here?"  *nervous laughter*  Probst then does a Rupert impression, & it's impecable.

Laura M is voted out, & the drama is almost too much for Kat to bear, as she pulls her hoodie strings tightly across her face.

The only question I'm left with is: What's the cutest thing about this season - Kat's hoodie-pull or ARSON?  Comment below, on twitter (@MomofKai) or on this blog's Facebook page!


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Survivor: Blood vs Water - The Farmer - 27.4

After a blindside orchestrated by his best bro, John greets his wife & Marissa at Redemption Redonkadonk Island.

At Tadhana, Culpepper is explaining his move: he wants to get rid of those without loved ones still in the game. He's assuming that come the merge, the loved ones of his allies will join with him.  That's a) assuming an awful lot, & b) completely contradictory to why he said he wanted to get rid of John originally - if Candice gets back in the game, John's loyalty will be to her, & not him.

At the Redemption Island duel, Candice enters giving Culpepper the finger, & accusing him of shushing the women on his tribe.  Culpepper responds by talking over Candice to her husband.

The Duel culminates in a puzzle in which John pulls ahead & finishes first.  Probst comments:

Candice finishes next, meaning Marissa leaves Survivor for really realz, after being voted out to spite Gervase. That is harsher than anything Tia & Tamera had to deal with on Sister, Sister.

Probst asks John who he wants to give the Immunity Idol clue to, & Candice suggests Monica, as the clue may make her a target.  Probst immediately jumps on Candice, asking John if she always tells him what to do.  John gives it to Monica, & Culpepper repeats "Walk it down & throw it in the fire.", which she does.  Now is a good time for you to read this.

Back at Tadhana, Cullpepper's allies would like to keep him around until the merge, so he'll be a bigger target. Hayden says, "But we also gotta make sure we don't get John'd."

Then we're treated to a shot of Culpepper that couldn't be more perfect:

Oh no, oh no, oh no! #FuckYouBradCulpepper fucking killed Nemo! pic.twitter.com/viIQ4ECuLn

— Andy Dehnart (@realityblurred) October 10, 2013

At Galang, Tyson & Gervase have bonded over crime.

The Immunity Challenge involves rowing, diving, untying, stacking & puzzle-solving.  Despite still having an injured shoulder from the last Immunity Challenge, Tyson is not one of the 2 Galang members who sit out.

Galang continues to have trouble rowing, but it's not quite as dramatic as before:

Both tribes start the puzzle at roughly the same time, & again, Galang wins Immunity.  Hayden is bummed.

Culpepper is wanting Caleb gone, because without Colton, Caleb is the perfect extra ally he & Monica could use post-merge - someone he's already aligned with, who has no stronger ties...wait, what?  Oh right, this makes NO SENSE.  Culpepper tells Ciera & Katie to vote for Caleb.

Culpepper then changes his mind & sides with the rest of his alliance, who want Ciera gone.  At Tribal Council, Culpepper admits that voting out a loner in the game is appealing, because maybe nobody from Galang would yell "Fuck you, Brad Culpepper" for once at a Redemption Island duel.  Maybe.

Caleb comments that he loves a blindside, but doesn't want to be the butt of one.

Caleb lays it out: "I'm gonna write Brad's name down."  Time to vote, & it is tied between Brad & Ciera.  On the re-vote, Hayden is either struggling with whether or not to change his vote, or how to spell Ciera.

Vytas changes his vote, & Culpepper leaves to join the Babes at Redemption Island.

So, Caleb orchestrated a last-minute blindside at Tribal Council, right in front of his target, & in case you forgot he's a farmer, HE IS A FARMER.

"I was fine being the goat."
"That's where it should have ended instead of me feeling like the calf being led to slaughter."
"You mess with the bull, you get the horns."

Is Caleb overtaking Vytas as my/your favourite newbie?  Comment below, on twitter (@MomofKai) or on this blog's Facebook page!

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Survivor: Blood vs Water - All of the Babes - 27.3

A Tyson who doesn't yet know that Rachel has been voted out of Tadhana is a Tyson cracking jokes about his cupcake belt.

Nobody on Galang will talk strategy with Colton, which is not how Colton wants to play the game.  Asking Aras for reassurance that he's not in trouble doesn't net him anything solid.  Aras tells Colton to just relax & enjoy the view.  I'm not saying he didn't bring this on himself, but being told to wait when you're anxious about something - that is the worst.  Colton starts spinning out.

At the Redemption Island Duel, Tyson learns of Rachel's ousting & he acknowledges that it's a smart move.  Rachel tells Tyson to stay with his tribe, & Tyson calls Culpepper "Mr. Football", which is adorbz.  Culpepper answers that Tadhana has had to make difficult decisions that Galang hasn't, & then he starts throwing "babe" around like he's a Cody, & Marissa takes offense.

Colton starts crying, & says he doesn't want to be there anymore, & wants to quit.  Here is a taste of Probst's epic scolding:

"So Colton, you came back for a second time because you said, 'I've changed.  I've grown, & I want to show everybody.'  You're now doing the exact opposite."

"You're punishing them by costing them a tribe member in a game about numbers in which ultimately you may merge."

"What is it that has happened on your tribe that's forcing you to quit for what now I can confirm, for myself, is the second time?  The first time you feigned an appendicitis.  Turns out you didn't have it.  You wanna own that one now?"

"Lots of people like to watch adventure.  It doesn't necessarily mean they really should get up off the couch.  And I'm now convinced that Colton is the guy who never should have got up off the couch.  We brought a quitter back, & we got a quit again."

Colton finally runs over to Caleb, sits on his lap & says goodbye before leaving while Caleb calls "Love you, babe."  While Tina suggested that Colton quit because nobody was playing his game, Colton has a different story.  Whatever the truth, it's clear, as my son noted, that Caleb must see a nicer side of Colton to love him so much.

As Colton left One World with an Immunity Idol, he left Blood vs Water with his buff.  Probst: "I won't give you the honour of throwing that in the urn - we'll keep that reserved for people who compete."

The Redemption Island duel is dominos & Candice again easily wins first place, & gives a second Hidden Immunity Idol clue to John.  The duel is down to Rachel & Marissa now, & I feel bad for Rachel, because if my high school dating life taught me anything, it's that black people know their dominoes.  Marissa wins, & Rachel is out of the game, prompting Tyson to jump down & embrace her.

Tyson continues being awesome back at camp, where he tearfully says, "When she lost & I got to hug her & ask her if she had fun, & she said she did...& for me that was enough.  Because it is a game, you know?  Too many people take it too seriously & it shouldn't be.  And it ruins their lives & it makes them angry, & a good example of that is Colton."

Off to the Immunity Challenge, which pairs Survivors in Sumo-like battles.  I was hoping we'd see this:

We saw Kat take down Ciera in roughly the same manner, & later, Aras vs Vytas, where Vytas employed a cheap shot.  But at least he didn't pull out a shiv he had fashioned out of a branch.

Galang wins again & Tadhana is faced with yet another Tribal Council & they have the same conversation - "Which girl do we get rid of now?"

Culpepper has other thoughts though - right now, he's running the tribe & John is his right-hand guy.  But if Candice gets back in the game, he'll lose John to her.

Forgetting that Hayden & Vytas also have allies that would come before him as well (you know, the same way he has Monica), & also that their partners aren't already at Redemption Island, Culpepper plots to vote out his best bro.

At Tribal Council,  the fact that everyone knows John has 2 Idol clues comes up.  It's not boding well for this half of the Babes, & he is voted out.  Meaning next week on Survivor, the Redemption Island duel will be Marissa vs

But for now, RI is

Can you deal with all the "babes" this season?  Comment below, on twitter (@MomofKai) or on this blog's Facebook page!

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Survivor: Blood vs Water - Imma Rub Some More - 27.2

Episode 2 begins with Marissa joining Candice & Rupert on Redemption Island, & being pissed-off commences.

It's quite the opposite the next morning at Galang, where the Age of Aras is not aligning with the dark side of Colton.

"The best is being the caboose because the gift is in the giving."

Everyone heads to the Redemption Island duel, where Galang learns that Marissa was voted out at the last Tribal Council.  Marissa tells Gervase, "You rubbed salt in their open wound. And that's why I'm here."

Gervase doesn't swap with Marissa, & the duel begins.  It's the final Immunity Challenge from One World, involving spools & springs & stacking.  Last one to finish is out of the game for really realz this time.  Probst adds yet another twist to this season: the first person to finish the duel gets a clue to a Hidden Immunity Idol & can give it to any Survivor still in the game.

Rupert loses & is the first person voted out of Blood vs Water.

Candice wins the HII clue, & she gives it to her husband.

Probst actually hands it over, but this makes a much cuter image.  Also, why does Probst hand it over? We were robbed of another touching embrace & more of John's tears.  Booo.

Back at Tadhana, John is relieved that Candice dominated the challenge, & wants to keep her surrounded by weaker players so she'll stay in the game.  Leave it to Vytas to mess up his chakra. (Is that a thing that makes sense?  I feel like it may be.)

Vytas points out that a returning player is more likely to swap for a loved one, so they could focus on targeting the strongest players on Galang by taking out their loved ones on Tadhana.

At Galang, Colton is having another tantrum.  He just can't deal with the awfulness of, you know, people being nice & getting along.  Which seems strange, because Caleb seems pretty damn nice.  Colton can't wait to lose Immunity so they can go to Tribal Council & he can stir up chaos.

The rest of his tribemates aren't falling for his schtick.  Aras calls him "a gay Russell Hantz".  A new alliance is born: Aras, Gervase, Tyson, Monica & Tina.  They have no name, & when they put their hands in, they don't say anything on "3".  I like to think this happened in all of their heads, though:

Off to the Immunity Challenge, where 1 person on each tribe will be rolled in a barrel to pick up bags of balls to be used in a Skeeball challenge, which is all an excuse for Probst to say the one word he loves more than "Culpepper".

Galang wins Immunity & fishing supplies, & Tadhana is left to vote another member out.  The Five Guys want Rachel, in the hopes that Tyson will swap, & Galang will suffer.  John is not happy about this, as Tyson vs Candice at RI does not look good for Candice.  His hesitancy causes the girls, & also Vytas, to be suspicious, but they're not sure if he has the Idol or not.

It's all a non-issue, however, as Rachel is voted out & is off to RI.

Next week, look for Tyson to be all

Follow me on twitter (@MomofKai) where I've started a new series #TweetsInLEGO which is exactly what it sounds like (the first one is below).  If there are any ridiculous Survivor/reality tweets you'd like to submit for LEGOfication, link them here, or on this blog's Facebook page!

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Survivor: Blood vs Water Premiere - Oh, Hell No - 27.1

I admit I was having trouble getting excited for this season of Survivor.  With returning players taking up half of the cast & convoluted twists that seemed unnecessary (Redemption Island, Day Zero, swapping for a voted out loved one who then joins the other tribe), it just seemed like Probst was trying too hard.  Asking fellow fans to help boost my enthusiasm netted the following ideas:

-Watch Big Brother, & Survivor will immediately seem like the best thing on TV.
-Focus on the deeper possibilities this season poses, like the moral implications for teams in an individual game.
-Consider this season a Survivor spin-off.
-Tyson is made of awesome - what else could one need?
-Think of the editors as the centre of the story.
-Rupert will make himself look like an ass, so LOLZ.

Turns out, all it took was for Survivor Premiere Day to actually come.  I woke up on Wednesday as happy as I was when Malcolm released The Hair just for me.

*Almost* as happy.

The loved ones are dropped off in separate spots to spend the night together with no supplies before they're divided into tribes of Returning Players (Galang) & Loved Ones (Tadhana).  We don't see any footage from the night, but you can read Dalton Ross' account of spending Day Zero with Gervase & his niece, Marissa.

Probst looks gleeful when he tells the pairs that they will be split into opposing tribes.  After digesting this for a few moments, Probst's new favourite word, "Culpepper", says part of him might still want to help his wife, Monica, on the other tribe.  The other Loved Ones don't take too kindly to Brad admitting he might try to throw a challenge.

Probst announces that each tribe will vote someone out immediately.  Rupert's wife, Laura is voted out of Tadhana - she thinks it's to hurt Rupert, but she's also older than the majority of her tribemates.  Candice is voted out of Galang - & it's common knowledge now that Candice & John were last minute replacements for RC & her father.

Rupert gets emotional, watching his wife walk away from her tribe.

*best read in over-enunciating gruff voice*

I watched this episode of Survivor with my parents, & my Mom was getting emotional as well.  She hadn't seen such a romantic bastard since Tarzan & Terri's quantum entanglement.  QUANTUM ENTANGLEMENT.  That shit's deep.

They are told Redemption Island is back this season, & then Probst adds the next twist - if their loved ones want, they can swap places.  Rupert bolts over immediately, much to the chagrin of his tribe, who doesn't see Laura as an adequate replacement for Rupert.  Tina says "Rupert is a fantastic shelter builder."

Probst says he never saw this coming, & he clearly went to the same acting school as Ozzy Christ Superstar. John does not swap with Candice & immediately is filled with guilt.  Rupert says "Blood is thicker than anything.  And Laura & I are blood."

Galang is progressing well - there's initial disappointment that the box of basic supplies doesn't include a flint, but Tyson is all

Tyson makes fire in 15 minutes (made.of.awesome), & Laura is trying her best to learn from the veterans, who are adept in all areas of survival.  Most of them, anyway.

Monica is apprehensive about working with Colton again, & doesn't trust him.  YOU & ME BOTH.  I really like Monica, if for no other reason than she seems really, really sweet.

Tadhana is struggling.  Culpepper starts out by assuring his tribe he would never do the thing that he just said would be the first thing he would think of doing.  He rushes off to make an alliance with the guys, as they outnumber the girls.  "We've got five guys."  Culpepper pauses a moment to do the math.  Can he count five guys?  Yes, he can.

He's looking for a bro-down, & goes on to say "The John Cochrans of Survivor are the big threats now..."

"Vytas, Ciera, & Culpepper" sounds like an indie band that's way too cool for me to know about.  They are having no luck starting a fire because Culpepper can't focus as Ciera & Vytas share their stories of hardships.  Ciera was a teen mom who is now happily married, & Vytas has overcome a heroin addiction.  Both inspiring, but Vytas is most impressive when he explains why he shared his story - to show vulnerability, to get people to trust him, & to strengthen his bonds & connections.

Colton thinks he'll try the same strategy at Galang.  He tells a story, which, coming from literally anybody else, would have touched me.  Would have made me cry, would have made me feel the feelz.  But not when it comes from Colton.

The Moms all flock around him as he cries, but even Monica admits that while a new Colton would be "a beautiful story", she's reluctant to buy into anything coming from Colton Cumbie.

Meanwhile...

"Holy shit, there's a scorpion on you!" - everyone to Gervase, constantly, probably.

The first Immunity Challenge involves obstacles in the water, untying a boat containing puzzle pieces, & paddling it back where the puzzle must be completed.  Galang falls behind, as Gervase is not a strong swimmer, & requires Aras' help to get to the boat.  Then once they get on the boat, nobody seems to know how to paddle.  Kat tells Colton to paddle strong, & he responds exactly the way you expect Colton to respond.  Like a spoiled brat.

TEAM KAT.

Despite Tadhana's advantage, Galang blows past them at the puzzle stage, winning Immunity.  There is celebration, & Gervase is the most vocal.

Marissa is annoyed that Gervase would throw a win in their faces, hers in particular.  "The lion does not roar after it kills its prey", & in this case, the prey is Galang's loved ones, who now have to go to Tribal Council.  The Five Guys are debating between Katie, because of a poor challenge performance, & Marissa, to spite her uncle, Gervase.  Vytas is aware that the Five Guys alliance is kind of obvious - "It's important for me to keep my alliances with the girls strong."  Maybe all the yoga has helped him adapt so quickly & be so flexible.  Whatever it is, I am

At Tribal Council, John admits he feels like he let Candice down by not swapping places with her.  Marissa expresses her disappointment over Gervase's reaction post-challenge.  Vytas says "This twist is different than any other season.  No team who wins Immunity is worrying the night the other tribe goes to Tribal Council.  But I guarantee you, tonight, that that team is worrying.  Because when they see us the next time at a challenge, they know that one of their loved ones is gonna be gone."

Probst says to Marissa, "Wow, that would be devastating to get voted out of this game for something you didn't do, but your Uncle did."  And that's exactly what happens.  Marissa heads off to Redemption Island after murdering Tadhana with her glare.

You guys, I've found this season's Swifty already.

Well, that's just shitty.  To think that an over-exuberant display from your loved one could get you voted out adds an unexpected layer to all these twists.  I really like Marissa - I respect anyone who names Tia & Tamera Mowry as inspirations in life.  There weren't a lot of pale redheads on TV when I was young, & a show with cool redheads would have done wonders for my confidence.  Instead, I had Strawberry Shortcake & Annie. I've shared with others that I am a Marissa fan for this reason, & I've been accused of showing favouritism simply because Gervase followed me on twitter before he followed Probst (which, yes, completely delighted me).  This doesn't change the fact that Sister, Sister was amazing.  So TEAM MARISSA, or GO HOME, ROGER.

What did you think of the episode & all the twists?  Who's your favourite?  (If it's not Vytas, GTFO.  I meant that.)  Share your thoughts on the premiere below in the comments, on twitter (@MomofKai), or on this blog's Facebook page.


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