GOTA TRIBE - THE FANS
MATT BISCHOFF
The beard. The tattoos. The tattoo of a beard. According to his bio, his inspiration is a beard guy & beards are a hobby. Beards, beards, beards. But according to this photo, he also likes numbers & Jesus & flowers. Right now, on the CBS bio page, he is THE most-liked Season 26 Survivor, even compared with the "favourites". He even beats Malcolm. I'm already excited just thinking about which LEGO beard to choose for my LEGO recap, should he make it to the Final 7. LOTR & The Hobbit LEGO sets = many magnificent dwarf beards to choose from. Follow Matt on twitter & join #teambeard.
SHERRI BIETHMAN
Despite owning 6 fast food franchises (including Cinnabon & Haagen Dazs), Sherri looks like that. How is that even possible? This must speak to her willpower or determination or something, right? Because I'm pretty sure I gained 10 pounds in my first week working at a Tim Hortons in University. She also dropped some Lost references recently, so Sherri is one of my newbie favourites, too. Follow her on twitter where she recently tweeted a picture of a Five Guys burger. TELL ME YOUR SECRETS, SHERRI.
REYNOLD TOEPFER
Pretty boy here proudly proclaims that he was recruited off the street. So much for the "fans" being actual, hardcore fans who actually, you know, apply to the show. He's inspired by Tom Brady & doesn't like winter. He knows he's handsome & thinks he's charming & enjoys moonlit strolls on the beach where he can play "sand volleyball". Everything about him is incredibly vague (except for his name, which seems very, very specific). His bio info could be said about almost anybody. Maybe his face is actually blank, & we're all projecting our image of "handsome guy" onto it. Ever think of that? I'm calling the Season 26 twist: Kilroy was a robot all along & is hiding in the shell of a man. Follow him on twitter, where Mr. Roboto's 2 tweets are positively bursting with personality.
MICHAEL SNOW
Michael Snow is an event planner & was a founding member of a theatre company. He enjoys both knitting AND photobombing, so let's all just agree to love him, okay? He's clearly amazing. I mean, Damon Lindelof already tweeted about the resemblance. His CBS video was one of the only ones I actually enjoyed watching. I think he's going to be a lot of fun, & so do a lot of people - he's also ahead of Malcolm with "likes" on the CBS bio page. Can you be both #teambeard & #teambald? I feel like I'm going to have to take a very odd photo of myself at some point in this season. Follow Michael on twitter.
SHAMAR THOMAS
Shamar is an Iraq War veteran. He doesn't like when civilians lack passion, so I'm sure he &
JULIA LANDAUER
Julia is a Race Car Driver & I couldn't type that without hearing this in my head. She is a Stanford student whose pet peeves are slow drivers in the left lane, so lets hope Julia is never driving behind my Mom. Follow Julia on twitter, where she has shown fantastic taste in red carpet favourites. Julianne Moore is my girl. I like Julia.
EDDIE FOX
Yeah, he is. And of course he's a Firefighter. One of the things he'd like to bring with him is "some type of cutting tool to make hunting and building shelter easier." Like the machete that your tribe will most likely get really early on, like, in the first 60 seconds? Do you even watch Survivor, Eddie? He also would like "sneakers", so I hope someone told him he can wear sneakers. Footwear is not a luxury item. He says some form of the word "competitor" 4 times in his CBS bio, so all things considered, it's not only a good thing for us that he's a fox. Personally, I can't wait for the inevitable dimple-off he'll have with Probst. The loser has to get cheek implants. From Tarzan.
Lastly on the fan tribe, we have 3 YBBs (young, beautiful blondes).
Hopefully they won't blur together as much once they're on the show,
because on paper... 
Two are 23, one is 25.
One is in Admin, one is a bartender, & one is a Pre-Law student.
They are all city girls - one from NY, one from DC, & one from Jefferson City (which has a lower population than the Ontario "town" I live in).
2/3 list "traveling" as a hobby, & a different 2/3 list "working out".
Inspirations include a Mother, a Father, & a Grandmother.
Follow them on twitter & try to tell them apart before the game starts: Hope, Laura, Allie.
Good luck.
BIKAL TRIBE - THE FAVOURITES
MALCOLM FREBERG
Again with the hair up, Malcolm? You really don't cater to your fan demographic, do you? Playing back-to-back means Survivor: Philippines hadn't aired yet. This Favourite went in as a mystery. A mystery topped with a glorious mane. Probst asked Malcolm to come back "...maybe three minutes after he was voted out". I'm guessing his tribe-mates will be won over by The Hair (on the rare occasions it is unleashed) faster than Malcolm can drop million dollar balls.
BRANDON HANTZ
Best known for being a creepy stalker on South Pacific. Nope, actually best known for being voted out after giving away his Immunity Necklace.
JK, it's still that he's Russell Hantz's nephew. For whatever reason,
Survivor wanted him back badly enough to (I can only assume) cut the
psychiatric evaluation from the process, because Brandon is back.
Follow him on twitter, I guess.
JOHN COCHRAN
Things I said about Cochran in my South Pacific recaps:
"I admit right now I have a nerd crush on this super nerd."
"I don't just love him. I LURVE him."
"Cochran admits he has "zero experience, zero ability & zero
confidence." But your adorableness is through the roof, Cochran!"
"Cochran has a condition called being-way-more-awesome-a-human-being-than-the-rest-of-you-combined."
So, I kind of like the guy. I like seeing someone on Survivor who's a real fan, & I APPROVE of his flipping tribes to avoid the rocks. I do. Also, there aren't enough of us pale redheads on TV, so it's nice to have our minority represented. And Cochran's return fills me with a great hope that somewhere, Whitney Duncan is furiously writing a song with the working title "Second Chances Disgust Me". Follow Cochran on twitter (where he used to follow me until he cut his following list down to an absurd number*, but really I'm okay & I'm not jealous of those 34 people, not that I know it's 34 exactly, & I haven't cried since Saturday).*Update.
DAWN MEEHAN
I am not a Dawn fan. I know I'm in the minority here, & that minority is even smaller than "pale redheads on TV". Lovely, lovely lady. Smart player. And just look at that smile. But something about Dawn rubbed me the wrong way on South Pacific. At a Tribal Council, Dawn said, "I'm learning to be more tolerant". She said this regarding Cochran. "Tolerance" is a word that really means "I hate this thing, but I'll try to pretend that I don't, so I'll look good." Either like it or don't. (Unless we're talking pain tolerance, & in that case, don't even tolerate that. Get some drugs.) Trying to sound nice can have the opposite effect, & to me, saying "I'm learning to be more tolerant" was worse than if she had said, "He's so annoying, he's driving me crazy, & we're stuck together so I can't just walk away like I would in real life, & that sucks." I'm hoping for a Dawn that won't sugar-coat everything this time around. Everyone else in the world LOVES Dawn & she is WONDERFUL, so perhaps I have repressed memories of being "tolerated" in my childhood. Many, many memories. Follow Dawn on twitter, where she seems pretty cool. Clearly, it's not her, it's me.
PHILLIP SHEPPARD
The Specialist from Redemption Island is back & he brought his pink undies with him. Here's to another season of rice drama & feathers appearing out of thin air. Follow him on twitter.
Best remembered for her scathing speech to Sugar in Gabon's final Tribal Council, I am very excited that Corinne is back. Imagine how many people in this cast she could hate with hilarity?!? "I don’t have any insecurities. It is my experience that everyone else who plays this game is riddled with them. I plan to break them down and eat them alive." This is a lady who doesn't preach tolerance. Follow her now on twitter. Like, right now.
ANDREA BOEHLKE
She's cute as a button, & I remember thinking she was pretty likeable. And that's all I remember about Andrea from Redemption Island. Follow her on twitter.
FRANCESCA HOGI
Even though she was the first boot from Redemption Island, I remember Francesca more than I do Andrea. I really liked her, & was disappointed to see her go so soon. I know a lot of people are whining that a first boot can't possibly be a favourite, but you guys know how I feel about my beloved Kourtney Moon, so... Give me 20 Francescas over 1 Brandon Hantz, amIright? Follow her on twitter.
BRENDA LOWE
I liked Brenda on Nicaragua. I'm glad to see a strong & strategic female return. She has been called cocky & arrogant, but let's be honest - a guy saying the same things would be praised for his confidence. Brenda is too smart to make the same mistake twice - this time, if her name is up, I'm sure there will be scrambling.
CORINNE KAPLAN
Best remembered for her scathing speech to Sugar in Gabon's final Tribal Council, I am very excited that Corinne is back. Imagine how many people in this cast she could hate with hilarity?!? "I don’t have any insecurities. It is my experience that everyone else who plays this game is riddled with them. I plan to break them down and eat them alive." This is a lady who doesn't preach tolerance. Follow her now on twitter. Like, right now.
ERIK REICHENBACH
Ah, Erik. After first appearing on Micronesia; Fans vs Favourites as a Fan, now he returns as a Favourite. Thanks to fellow Bikal tribe-mate Brandon, Erik is no longer the only Survivor to be voted out immediately after giving up his Immunity Necklace at a Tribal Council. He'll always be the first, though. People harp on Erik, but he isn't the dumbest person to play Survivor by a long shot - he just made a super-dumb decision that I doubt anyone would ever make again. Well, Brandon might do it again. Follow Erik on twitter.
It's a very young cast, unlike last season. I'm excited for a few of the newbies (Matt, Michael & Sherri), looking forward to some of the returnees (Corinne, Francesca & Erik), & of course, super happy that Cochran & The Hair will be back on my TV.
My thoughts could be way off the mark - last season, the most interesting thing I could say about pre-show Abi-Maria was that she liked ruffles on her bikinis, so what do I know? I'm looking forward to being proven right or wrong on February 13, when the 2 hour premiere airs.
So, what are your thoughts on this season's cast? Any players you're particularly excited about? And go ahead, tell me how wrong I am about Dawn.
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