Monday, October 28, 2013

Survivor: Blood vs Water - The Golden Ruler - 27.6

After voting Laura M out at the last Tribal Council, Tyson & Gervase set their sights on "King Aras".

The Golden Ruler

Thinking that the merge is coming soon, they don't want him reuniting with Vytas to vote the 2 of them out.  Tyson is as torn up about this as Tyson gets.  "I really do like Aras, he's a great guy, he's funny - he's a little out there on his, uh, zen-type beliefs, because I just have zero beliefs."  Except for one.

At the Redemption Island Duel, Laura M won't let Ciera swap with her, as she's pretty sure she can handle the challenge.  OH, REALLY?  Well, how will you feel after the details have been revealed?  Now that you know that you have numbered tiles in the correct order....okay, I guess you're still confident.  Who wouldn't be?

Laura M can count to 100, so she finishes first.  John can also count to 100, so he finishes second.  Culpepper leaves for really reallz, after a dramatic speech where he tells Monica, "I came on here as a shield.  Through my fault, or no fault of my own, I probably became an anchor.  You're free.  The wind is blowing.  Sail.  Sail hard."

Knowing the episode was titled "One Man Wrecking Ball", but not knowing who it referred to before the episode aired, I thought about what would make me laugh the hardest, & asked @AriFerarri to make it happen.  Ari follows through, & even though I now know the title refers to Tyson, I WOULDN'T CHANGE THIS FOR ANYTHING.

Laura M chooses to give the Hidden Immunity Idol clue to Vytas, who walks down & throws it in the fire.  Probst then announces they're gonna "switch things up" with a tribe swap.  Everyone picks a random buff, & the results are about as uneven as they possibly could be.

New Galang
New Tadhana

At the new Tadhana, Ciera, Caleb, & Hayden are dismayed that their new tribemates are eating all their food.  If Kat had switched tribes, Hayden's feelings on the matter may have been different.

At Galang, Kat is frustrated with Monica's constant strategy talk.

Back at Tadhana, Tyson is deftly ensuring that Aras is seen as the biggest threat.  "I need to make sure people know that between him & I, he's the one in charge."

At Galang, Vytas is trying to bond with the ladies.  He really doesn't have to do much, though - he shares his troubled past & does some shirtless yoga, oblivious to its effect (...okay...) & the ladies love him.

Off to the Immunity Challenge, which involves swimming, diving, & releasing 3 fish traps containing pieces to be used to solve a puzzle.  First tribe to finish wins Immunity & a picnic with all the fixin's.   Tina & Laura B forget to bring the first fish trap back, giving Tadhana a huge lead.  Tadhana slows down at the puzzle stage, giving Galang a chance to catch up.  Galang incorrectly thinks they've won not once, but twice, & stand around looking stunned as Tadhana wins.

Back at Galang, Tina apologizes for forgetting the fish trap.  Luckily for her, the women want to take out Vytas as it seems clear he would abandon them post-merge.  Kat tells Tina that she would rather vote out Monica, which gets back to Monica.  Monica confronts Kat & gives her the MOM STARE: narrowed eyes & judgmental nodding, just waiting for Kat to break.  Monica believes in the Golden Rule, but has come to realize that Survivor has its own Golden Rule.

At Tribal Council, Kat seems flustered trying to convince her tribe to keep her.  Vytas, on the other hand, is calm & rational & somehow convinces the tribe that even though he has allegiances with both the old Tadhana, & his brother Aras, he would be loyal to them post-merge.  We see Vytas voting for Kat, & he throws a dig her way referencing the first episode of Survivor: One World.  "I hope you enjoy the ambiance at Redemption Island."

Kat is voted out & heads to Redemption Island where she is worried that Hayden will be disappointed in her. "From a scale of 1-10 on coolness, I just got a negative 2."

This is like the inverse of when people on The Bachelor say "If we can just climb this bridge, there's nothing we can't do together."  Do you think Hat's love can survive this devastating blow?  Comment below, on twitter (@MomofKai) or on this blog's Facebook page!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Survivor: Blood vs Water - Hammocks & Hoodies - 27.5

Tadhana is reeling from a Tribal Council that saw a bold move from Caleb lead to a tied vote, with Culpepper ultimately being voted out.  Meanwhile, at Redemption Island...

At Galang, Laura M gives Aras a massage that's a bit on the uncomfy side...but it's nothing compared to last season's uncomfy massage.

At the Redemption Island duel, Monica tearfully asks Culpepper if she can take his place.  She is shushed, like, immediately...but I guess this time the intent is sweet.

The RID involves collecting puzzle pieces to form a bridge, crossing that bridge, & then disassembling the pieces to use in a puzzle.  John finishes first, & Culpepper finishes second, meaning Candice leaves for really realz.

Earlier, Probst had called Candice out for having the most to say about Culpepper despite not having played a single day in the game.  I recently had a twitter conversation with someone who called Candice a "bitch" because...well, I still don't really understand the reasoning, other than Candice being a strong woman who spoke her mind & played the game as hard as she could from Redemption Island & people like that are the worst, I guess.  Clearly, I am

Once again, John gives the Hidden Immunity Idol clue to Monica, & once again, Culpepper tells her to throw it in the fire, which she does.  Back at Galang, Monica is trying to be optimistic, though shaken by Brad's situation.  "We're the same person - if one of us is here, we're both here."

Meanwhile, at Tadhana...

And also...

And also this:

Off to the Immunity Challenge, which involves slides & a ring toss to win Immunity & a steak dinner with all the fixin's.  It comes down to Gervase vs Hayden, & Hayden wins the first Immunity Challenge for Tadhana.

At the Galang camp, Laura B is nervous, & nervously tries to stir up drama by nervously telling Kat the other girls were being catty to her. *nervous laughter*

Kat knew Laura was just scrambling - you can't fool Kat when she's like

Everyone wants to vote Laura B out because she's not a returning player, they're annoyed by her & she makes people uncomfy.  But Aras wants to go another way.

Aras snuggles with a french-braided Tyson on a hammock where they decide Laura M should go next.

At Tribal Council, Gervase & Tina discuss how much the game has changed since Seasons 1 & 2.  Probst places a hand on his hip like he's about to sashay down a staircase, & he bluntly asks Laura B: "You were voted out seconds into the game, you're now on a tribe with people who've played before - you've never played.  Do you belong out here?"  *nervous laughter*  Probst then does a Rupert impression, & it's impecable.

Laura M is voted out, & the drama is almost too much for Kat to bear, as she pulls her hoodie strings tightly across her face.

The only question I'm left with is: What's the cutest thing about this season - Kat's hoodie-pull or ARSON?  Comment below, on twitter (@MomofKai) or on this blog's Facebook page!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Survivor: Blood vs Water - The Farmer - 27.4

After a blindside orchestrated by his best bro, John greets his wife & Marissa at Redemption Redonkadonk Island.

At Tadhana, Culpepper is explaining his move: he wants to get rid of those without loved ones still in the game. He's assuming that come the merge, the loved ones of his allies will join with him.  That's a) assuming an awful lot, & b) completely contradictory to why he said he wanted to get rid of John originally - if Candice gets back in the game, John's loyalty will be to her, & not him.

At the Redemption Island duel, Candice enters giving Culpepper the finger, & accusing him of shushing the women on his tribe.  Culpepper responds by talking over Candice to her husband.

The Duel culminates in a puzzle in which John pulls ahead & finishes first.  Probst comments:

Candice finishes next, meaning Marissa leaves Survivor for really realz, after being voted out to spite Gervase. That is harsher than anything Tia & Tamera had to deal with on Sister, Sister.

Probst asks John who he wants to give the Immunity Idol clue to, & Candice suggests Monica, as the clue may make her a target.  Probst immediately jumps on Candice, asking John if she always tells him what to do.  John gives it to Monica, & Culpepper repeats "Walk it down & throw it in the fire.", which she does.  Now is a good time for you to read this.

Back at Tadhana, Cullpepper's allies would like to keep him around until the merge, so he'll be a bigger target. Hayden says, "But we also gotta make sure we don't get John'd."

Then we're treated to a shot of Culpepper that couldn't be more perfect:

At Galang, Tyson & Gervase have bonded over crime.

The Immunity Challenge involves rowing, diving, untying, stacking & puzzle-solving.  Despite still having an injured shoulder from the last Immunity Challenge, Tyson is not one of the 2 Galang members who sit out.

Galang continues to have trouble rowing, but it's not quite as dramatic as before:

Both tribes start the puzzle at roughly the same time, & again, Galang wins Immunity.  Hayden is bummed.

Culpepper is wanting Caleb gone, because without Colton, Caleb is the perfect extra ally he & Monica could use post-merge - someone he's already aligned with, who has no stronger ties...wait, what?  Oh right, this makes NO SENSE.  Culpepper tells Ciera & Katie to vote for Caleb.

Culpepper then changes his mind & sides with the rest of his alliance, who want Ciera gone.  At Tribal Council, Culpepper admits that voting out a loner in the game is appealing, because maybe nobody from Galang would yell "Fuck you, Brad Culpepper" for once at a Redemption Island duel.  Maybe.

Caleb comments that he loves a blindside, but doesn't want to be the butt of one.

Caleb lays it out: "I'm gonna write Brad's name down."  Time to vote, & it is tied between Brad & Ciera.  On the re-vote, Hayden is either struggling with whether or not to change his vote, or how to spell Ciera.

Vytas changes his vote, & Culpepper leaves to join the Babes at Redemption Island.

So, Caleb orchestrated a last-minute blindside at Tribal Council, right in front of his target, & in case you forgot he's a farmer, HE IS A FARMER.

"I was fine being the goat."
"That's where it should have ended instead of me feeling like the calf being led to slaughter."
"You mess with the bull, you get the horns."

Is Caleb overtaking Vytas as my/your favourite newbie?  Comment below, on twitter (@MomofKai) or on this blog's Facebook page!

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Survivor: Blood vs Water - All of the Babes - 27.3

A Tyson who doesn't yet know that Rachel has been voted out of Tadhana is a Tyson cracking jokes about his cupcake belt.

Nobody on Galang will talk strategy with Colton, which is not how Colton wants to play the game.  Asking Aras for reassurance that he's not in trouble doesn't net him anything solid.  Aras tells Colton to just relax & enjoy the view.  I'm not saying he didn't bring this on himself, but being told to wait when you're anxious about something - that is the worst.  Colton starts spinning out.

At the Redemption Island Duel, Tyson learns of Rachel's ousting & he acknowledges that it's a smart move.  Rachel tells Tyson to stay with his tribe, & Tyson calls Culpepper "Mr. Football", which is adorbz.  Culpepper answers that Tadhana has had to make difficult decisions that Galang hasn't, & then he starts throwing "babe" around like he's a Cody, & Marissa takes offense.

Colton starts crying, & says he doesn't want to be there anymore, & wants to quit.  Here is a taste of Probst's epic scolding:

"So Colton, you came back for a second time because you said, 'I've changed.  I've grown, & I want to show everybody.'  You're now doing the exact opposite."

"You're punishing them by costing them a tribe member in a game about numbers in which ultimately you may merge."

"What is it that has happened on your tribe that's forcing you to quit for what now I can confirm, for myself, is the second time?  The first time you feigned an appendicitis.  Turns out you didn't have it.  You wanna own that one now?"

"Lots of people like to watch adventure.  It doesn't necessarily mean they really should get up off the couch.  And I'm now convinced that Colton is the guy who never should have got up off the couch.  We brought a quitter back, & we got a quit again."

Colton finally runs over to Caleb, sits on his lap & says goodbye before leaving while Caleb calls "Love you, babe."  While Tina suggested that Colton quit because nobody was playing his game, Colton has a different story.  Whatever the truth, it's clear, as my son noted, that Caleb must see a nicer side of Colton to love him so much.

As Colton left One World with an Immunity Idol, he left Blood vs Water with his buff.  Probst: "I won't give you the honour of throwing that in the urn - we'll keep that reserved for people who compete."

The Redemption Island duel is dominos & Candice again easily wins first place, & gives a second Hidden Immunity Idol clue to John.  The duel is down to Rachel & Marissa now, & I feel bad for Rachel, because if my high school dating life taught me anything, it's that black people know their dominoes.  Marissa wins, & Rachel is out of the game, prompting Tyson to jump down & embrace her.

Tyson continues being awesome back at camp, where he tearfully says, "When she lost & I got to hug her & ask her if she had fun, & she said she did...& for me that was enough.  Because it is a game, you know?  Too many people take it too seriously & it shouldn't be.  And it ruins their lives & it makes them angry, & a good example of that is Colton."

Off to the Immunity Challenge, which pairs Survivors in Sumo-like battles.  I was hoping we'd see this:

We saw Kat take down Ciera in roughly the same manner, & later, Aras vs Vytas, where Vytas employed a cheap shot.  But at least he didn't pull out a shiv he had fashioned out of a branch.

Galang wins again & Tadhana is faced with yet another Tribal Council & they have the same conversation - "Which girl do we get rid of now?"

Culpepper has other thoughts though - right now, he's running the tribe & John is his right-hand guy.  But if Candice gets back in the game, he'll lose John to her.

Forgetting that Hayden & Vytas also have allies that would come before him as well (you know, the same way he has Monica), & also that their partners aren't already at Redemption Island, Culpepper plots to vote out his best bro.

At Tribal Council,  the fact that everyone knows John has 2 Idol clues comes up.  It's not boding well for this half of the Babes, & he is voted out.  Meaning next week on Survivor, the Redemption Island duel will be Marissa vs

But for now, RI is

Can you deal with all the "babes" this season?  Comment below, on twitter (@MomofKai) or on this blog's Facebook page!