Thursday, September 27, 2012

Survivor: Philippines - Booty-Blinded By the Booby Trap - 25.2

Zane was voted out at the last Tribal Council, something I believe I captured beautifully in this DrawSomething picture for my Dad:

Yeah, I still play DrawSomething.  What of it?

Blue (Matsing) returns to camp, & Russell apologizes to everybody & plans to step back & let someone else take over.  They settle in for a cold night.  Cold if you don't have a body to snuggle with, that is...

Angie says "There's nothing going on between us, it's just, you know, when it's cold, you need to cuddle up to someone."  Malcolm knows suspicions will arise, but can't quite resist.  "When I first saw Angie, I kept having to remind myself: Don't get booty-blinded, don't get booty-blinded, you're here to play Survivor, make a million dollars & go home.  But, I mean, there's no denying that's a good-looking girl."

Roxanne, who now seems to be "Roxy" to everyone, has noticed that Malcolm & Angie were not leaving room for The Holy Spirit between their hard, hard bodies.  She is alerted to "full-on cuddling", & notes that "with Angie, it's literally a booby trap".  And with that, I know that this recap is going to write itself.

Is the snuggling really threatening, though?  With said hard bodies (& faces!) fully covered, it seems about as romantic as 2 Greendale Human Beings, from Community:

At Yellow (Tandang), RC finds the clue in the bag of rice.  All 3 clues have now been found - Red's clue by Penner & Blue's Clue (lolz) by Russell, although we've yet to see any development with him & the idol.   RC manages to hide it from Lisa, but Abi-Maria happens to see it.  Luckily, they're in a Sexy Alliance together, & RC wants Abi-Maria to trust her, so she shares the clue.  Sexy Alliance reads the clue together on the beach & decide to keep it to themselves, & not share it with Pete & Mike, the newer additions to Sexy Alliance.

Later, Abi-Maria is swimming in the water & sees RC & Mike talking.   She is immediately suspicious & jealous, but there's really no need to worry, Abi-Maria - Mike was just needing medical attention.  Again.

RC explains: "To me, Mike is my father".*  Abi-Maria isn't convinced, but she's no stereotypical spicy Latina, so she's not going to go cray-cray.  Just one cray, as she attempts to soften her threat: "I am your friend, but if you fuck with me, you're dead.  You are done.  Just letting you know."

This is the face of someone who thought she partnered with sexy, & now realizes she partnered with crazy.

At Red (Kalabaw), the tribe tells Penner they're playing checkers since it won't stop raining.  Penner is all "Awesome!  Great idea!  Rainy day, clever!" on the outside, but on the inside, he's dying to search the camp for the idol.

His foot may actually be tapping.

Everyone but Penner leaves for the cave where they might be able to keep a fire going.  Penner searches like a madman & is caught by Dana & Dawson, who return for the flint.  Penner tells them he was looking for his glasses, because the rain washed his contact lens out.  Now, I've worn contacts for 18 years, & a contact has only ever blinked out of my eye one time, & that was when it was really windy & it was dry.  But they bought it, so nice save, Penner.

Penner later realizes that if he had read the clue where he found it, "right under his nose" would have been the rice container, where the lid handle looks very much like an idol.  Penner grabs a machete, pries the top off & gets himself the first Hidden Immunity Idol of the game.

"For the first time in 3 tries, I have...(pause for verklemptness)...the Hidden Immunity Idol.  It's fantastic."  He is happy, & I am happy.  I know there are a lot of people who don't like when past players come back, but when it's Penner, how can you not be happy he's on your TV screen again?  LOVE HIM.  Penner goes for a victory lap past Dana, yelling "I'm on fire!" & on the other side of the island, Skupin stops, drops, & rolls.

At Blue, Roxy is still bothered by Malgie's continued snuggling.  I wonder if she's jealous?  In her pre-interviews, she made comments about there being a guy she found very attractive, & was hoping she could keep her head straight.  Maybe Malcolm had been letting The Hair loose before the game started, & now Roxy is feeling slighted?  Whatever the reason, she thinks Malgie is dangerous (no fair), & they're being irresponsible (too sexy) & she doesn't like it (but maybe wants it).  She goes to Russell, who has noticed something, too.  "It looks like she's got some boob thing going on...they're popping up all over the place."

In Angie's defense, her boobs are covered most of the time. *cough* Alicia *cough*

Roxy then goes to Denise, who says "Part of it is a 24yr old guy snuggling up to something that is really nice to snuggle up to, but now it's like there are these huge targets on their backs."

I hear what you're saying, Denise, but I see that you mean "huge targets on her front".

Before we leave Blue, we get a shot of a Praying Mantis, a fascinating creature known for sexual cannibalism.  I fear this is foreshadowing the downfall of Malcolm at the hands of Angie, as the Praying Mantis shown was in Pageant-mode.

Fierce mantis is fierce.

Over at Yellow, Lisa is miserable in the rain.  She can't busy herself with tasks & is forced to sit with people she doesn't feel connected to.  "I'm an introvert by nature.  I don't do well with chit chat.  I'm not very good at that.  I'm very shy, so if I'm on a stage, I can be behind a role, but in real life, my tendency is just to withdraw & not let anybody in."  I FEEL YOU, LISA.  Screw you, small talk.

Yellow doesn't realize this, & they think she's sneaking around looking for the idol.  Abi-Maria feels Lisa isn't trying hard enough to connect with the tribe, but it's not that easy for everyone, & also, why do you have such a hate-on for her, Abi-Maria?  Moms can be sexy, too.  Instead of searching for an idol, Lisa is crying at the edge of a well.

This reminds me of a movie I once saw...

No, not that movie....I'm thinking of the one with Abi-Maria in it....

Yes.  This is the one.

Lisa says she's been on her own since she was 12, when she moved to California for The Mickey Mouse Club.  What now?  That's a whole new level of fame right there.  Check out this clip of The New Mickey Mouse Club performing at THE HALFTIME SHOW OF THE SUPERBOWL in 1977.  I mean, can you even imagine if this season's Superbowl featured a halftime show courtesy of Wizards of Waverly Place?  Wow.  Check out adorable Lisa at the 5:44 mark.

Only Mike knows of Lisa's famous past, & he doesn't seem to be sticking up for her much.  Pete then makes a joke: "She's like a dog that keeps escaping the fence in the backyard...eventually you just gotta shoot it."  Everyone laughs but WTF?  How many puppies has Pete killed because he couldn't build a proper fence?

Engineering Graduate AND MONSTER.

Blue is blue.  They're wet & cold & Roxy is disappointing The Hair.  "Russell is on fire duty, & me & Denise are just trying to keep the shelter in one piece, & Roxy's just out of it.  She's not working, her mind's not in it, & everyone's noticing it."

At least Angie is keeping me warm at night.

Roxy thought being a seminary student & Christian would have given her great strength in this game, but she's in tears.  She seems to be having a mini crisis of faith & says it's because she's not in her comfort zone.  Doesn't she want to be a chaplain in the Armed Forces?  I can't imagine they have all the comforts in life.  She says it's like encountering Christ all over again, & it's not easy.  I don't understand what that means.

The sun comes out, & suddenly Roxy's faith is restored.  She is full of thanks & praise, but she should be thanking Dawson, because the sun came out when she smiled.

Dawson called me a "blogging goddess" last week, so this is all completely valid & not biased in any way.

Roxy is still praying & now speaking in tongues or something, which is making Denise nervous.  Even Russell (who had tried to cheer up Roxy when she was crying) is surprised.  "I thought she'd have a little more strength of character."

Denise says "Roxy's been praying for, like, sunshine from God.  If it works for her, fantastic.  I'm respectful, but it's just not my gig.  I don't pray for anything, anything that's gonna get me to the end of the game, it's gonna be me."

Denise Stapley: Where has she been all my life?

Now that she is over her trying times, Roxy is growing more agitated by Malgie's continued fraternization in the light of day.

"I'm having trouble with my coconu..."

"I'll help you with those...oh, an actual coconut?"      "OMGURSOBADDDLOLZ"

On to the Immunity/Reward Challenge, where pairs from each tribe will pull sleds to get bundles of puzzle pieces.  When all pieces are back, a pair will solve the puzzle while another player calls instructions.  First tribe to finish wins Immunity + a tarp + blankets & pillows.  Second tribe wins Immunity + a tarp.  Probst's got nothing for the third tribe.

Someone on Blue has to run twice - Angie (who proclaimed herself a track athlete at last Tribal Council) says she doesn't want to, & Roxy says she's been drinking less water, so it just doesn't make sense for her to go twice.  Meanwhile, on Red, Jeff (& his injured leg) volunteers to run twice.

Blue falls behind quickly as Russell & Angie get the sled caught behind the platform.

At least Russell stacked the puzzle pieces properly...

This episode seemed to have an extra cameraman dedicated to RC's ass, & my husband is a fan of that guy's work.

Angie the track star is tired & decides to push instead of help with the pulling, but really just kind of uses the sled to keep herself up.

So, you know, the opposite of helping.

Blue catches up to the other tribes at the puzzle stage, with Denise calling.  She directs her tribe to turn a piece around "like Tetris", & for realz I am in love with Denise.

Artis says "There you go!" & that's all for Artis (though it still gives him more screentime than Carter & Katie put together, so WTG Artis!)

In her exhaustion, poor Angie mistakes this post for Malcolm.

Yellow finishes first, Red second, & Blue is going to Tribal Council again.  This causes Russell, the man who was going to try to chill, to angrily throw down a puzzle piece & go on a rant.  "I'm pissed off.  I'm sick of this I can't do this, I can't handle this.  Either go hard or go home.  Forget these other stupid-talking tribes.  They can't beat us - they shouldn't be able to beat us."
Probst: "And yet they have, twice."
Russell manages to stop himself from calling Probst a "stupid-head".  Angie offers, "At least we were close."  There's still a Congeniality Immunity, right?

Much like the scales of justice tattoo on his chest, Russell must weigh his next decision in terms of fairness & truth.
Stepping onto the fairness scale is Roxy: useless, but tells Russell everything & trusts him.
Stepping onto the truth scale is Angie: useless, but keeps Malcolm warm at night, better prepping him for challenges.

Now having to fight for her life, the formerly subdued Roxy talks to Russell in the ocean (in plain view of everyone), & morphs into a hand-flying, eye-rolling, taking-off-my-stiletto-so-I-can-stab-you-with-it chick.

"I can respect people who do good games, you know.  Where it's like, yo, they schemin' & schemin'.  That one over there, who ain't got no skills at all?  Just show the boobs, somebody'll fall for it."

Malgie witnesses this transformation of character & Malcolm says "She's going gangster.  We're gonna be called out."  I cannot express how much I enjoyed Angie's quick expression change as she first laughed at what Malcolm said, & then understood it.

This is what transpired next:
A: "For what?"
M: "Sleeping situation."
A: "Well, what's she gonna say? (does a voice) 'We need to vote Angie out!'
M: "Yeah, that's what she's saying."
A: (genuinely shocked) "She is?!?"
M: (looks at her like he can't believe this is a conversation he is part of) "...what else would she be saying?"

Russell tries to convince Denise that Angie's not the innocent player she's leading them to believe, & it looks like Russell prefers Roxy's uselessness over Angie's.  Denise knows she's caught between these 2 alliances & is just hoping her trust in Malcolm as a strategic player is well-founded.  She's hoping he's not "blinded by the headlights."

"...but I don't see a car...?"

At Tribal, Probst asks Roxy to finish a sentence: "If there's one thing I could change about this tribe, it would be..."  Roxy wishes her tribe wouldn't insist on doing so much work around camp because they don't have any energy left at challenges.  "Like, that's awkward."

Probst asks Angie the same question, & she responds "That we could...have cookies?"  (Like I said, it kind of writes itself this week.)

Probst is dumbfounded & asks Malcolm what he thinks about that.  Malcolm says "Everyone's really hungry, so I think that's a great answer, in fact, it's my answer too, & I don't like where you're headed because I'd like to eventually score with this girl & you'll ruin everything." *wink* 

Probst is taking over Honey Badger duties from Kat: he don't care.  "Wait a second, REALLY?  In a game for a million dollars, one of your tribemates says 'Cookies would be good!'"  Malcolm then mutters something about a "terrible wing, man"?  I couldn't really make it out.

Roxy brings Malgie to Probst's attention, Malcolm denies it & says Angie's like a little sister.  Roxy says that's creepy & I am with her on that, & only that.  Probst asks Roxy why Malgie bothers her so much & she says "It bothered me on Day 1.  To me it was like a booby trap...(looks at Angie)...sorry..." 

Then there's this awkward exchange of catty remarks while both remain pleasantly seated on stools.
"I'm sorry that I'm cold."
"Oh, yeah.  You're freezing, right."
"Yeah I am."
"Yeah you are."
"I would cuddle with you, but uh..."
"Yeah, no, I'm good."

Not ONE stiletto came off, you guys!  Bummer.  Angie says she understands how dangerous perception can be in a strategic game like this.  Just kidding, she just said "yes" when Probst asked her that.  Turns out she didn't understand, & Probst actually claps his hands loudly 3 times, yelling "Wake up!".  Ah, good times, Honey Badger Probst.  Good times.

It seems that when Angie stepped on Russell's scale of justice, something(s) weighed it heavily down, as Roxy is voted out, unanimously.  She wishes her remaining tribemates well with  "God bless, & Shalom."

Good luck in the Army?

*In unrelated news, Skupin checked into a hospital last night after accidentally stabbing his thigh with a fork, screaming "Why do they all say that?!?".

I'd like to thank the Survivors who had lovely things to say about my recap of the premiere - Dawson, RC & Denise are super cool, & Penner (PENNER) sent me a message saying he loved it.  I think I blushed typing that.  So thanks, you guys!

My blog now has a Facebook page, so you can stay updated there - & maybe get the first look at the Final 7 LEGO recap when I get started on it...

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